Tuesday, June 28, 2011

My Life Story

It doesn't get much cooler than this

This is the life. I am spending my days lazing around and writing my life story. It's a dull life I've had but why would anyone want to read about an exciting life? They'd only get jealous.

I've done 10,000 words so far and I've got to my mid-teens. So 30,000 words to go and 35 years. Can I write that much? I'm going to need an awful lot of padding, going off on tangents, making up lots of dialogue. But now I've got a bit of time to myself I actually believe I can do it.

And where I used to think whatever I'd written in the past had been the finished product, I know this is only the first draft, to be played around with, fiddled with until I've got something to show the world.

Of course next week I'll probably be rolling on the floor in despair.


  1. Mid-teens. Out of short trousers then. You'll notice the absence of a question mark there...

  2. This is very exciting.

  3. I misread that as "Of course next week I'll probably be rolling on the floor in a diaper."

  4. I will look forward to the Blogging Years... and Betty's bits about Coronation Street!

  5. Can we pre-order on line yet?

  6. When you're rolling around on the floor in despair don't forget to make copious notes for the misery memoir - very saleable stuff, misery.

  7. Wow, sounds like this autobiography is going to be longer than your life!

    To date, I mean.

  8. Arabella - And into itchy long ones.

    Vicus - It is, isn't it? And on the heels of Glastonbury, too.

    MJ - That's the first ten years.

    Scarlet - I'll want all your real names!

    Christopher - I'll probably end up putting it on here. I don't think an agent will look twice at it.

    Tim - No, but there's piccalilli.

    Rog - There's the Andrew Collins one which was meant to be an antidote to all those but just ended up depressing me.

    Laura - Trouble is all the interesting stuff happens in the first 21 years.

  9. The big question is whether it will be a longer and more compelling read than Justin Bieber's "autobiography"?

  10. An excerpt please?

  11. Mr VVB - His book is the benchmark.

    UTMG - I thank you!

    MJ - OK. I'll sort out the most interesting bit.