Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Crocs Away!

Elton John dies and David Furnish prays to God. You see, Elton had a pair of green crocs that were his pride and joy, but when his left leg was lost in the accident the left croc went with it.

So David has one croc to treasure forever. If only he had both!

David prays to God and asks him if he could point him in the direction of the missing leg and croc. God says he can, but as God likes to see men suffer he asks David the following:-

GOD: David...who is your favourite dead film star?

DAVID: Why, Rock Hudson. He was absolutely gorgeous.

GOD: What would you say to a five minute telephone conversation with Rock Hudson?

DAVID: I'd do anything for that. But he's dead!

GOD: I can arrange it, David. I have his number.

DAVID: Yes, then. Yes, please.

GOD: Only one thing, David. If I give you Mr Hudson's number, I will not tell you where the missing croc is located.

DAVID: Why not, God?

GOD: Because that's the way I am.

DAVID: So I have a choice?

GOD: The choice is yours.

David's brow is furrowed.

DAVID: Can I have some time to think it over?

GOD: I want an answer now, David. Come on! Elton John's croc, or dial Rock?


  1. But the years went by after Rock had died

    David left Elton for some foreign guy.

  2. Not Mika, surely?

  3. I'm trying something similar involving an admirable purchase, a Swiss art-pop duo, a willy and what Steve Redgrave used to do.

    But it's still not as contrived as yours.

  4. "I remember when Rock was young"

    Well obviously I don't really - I'm not quite as old as that.

  5. Tim - ...where the dogs of society howl.

    Kaz - And you've never had fun with Susie. Me neither.

  6. Is this what 2 weeks in Norfolk has done to you Geoff?

  7. It was a breath of fresh air. A little too much to the brain, maybe. Those Winterton winds, you know.

  8. I've spent many an icy week at the Hermanus Holiday Complex in a mud hut.

  9. Can you do one for the Hounds of Love next please?

  10. Careful David it's a trick question. Hint: Go for the phone call...crocs get caught in escalators.

  11. First RoMo, now Geoff - is everyone going Crocs-mad?

  12. Murph - With all that wind, no wonder there are windmills in the sea.

    Billy - Kate Bush's Hounds of Love? Fnarr fnarr.

    Dick - I wish an escalator would suck down all the crocs in the world.

    Llewtrah - Once you see your first croc, you start seeing them everywhere. A bit like pobs.