It's no good. I can't get away from him. This morning I sat on the other side of the carriage. He sat next to me. Suicide seems the only option.
I went to John Lewis at Bluewater on Sunday to pick up my new macbook. Bluewater: what a shithole. One episode of the BBC4 documentary series The Secret Life of the Motorway, featured a long-distance lorry driver who, for relaxation at weekends, drives his wife hundreds of miles so she can do her shopping at shitholes like Bluewater all over the country. He sits outside the shops and reads. He finds it relaxing. They say there are more out than in.
I think I prefer shopping at Argos than John Lewis. There are hundreds of baby buggies at John Lewis. And customer collections takes an age. I was told my mac would be 15 minutes so I spent some time in the wanky hi-tech Apple shop, listening to an assistant saying "Apple just lurve university students" to a university student. I got back at John Lewis within the 15 minutes. Twenty minutes later, after several enquiries, I finally collected my mac. Apparently, they'd already called my name. Even though I was told to go away for 15 minutes. "Never knowingly undersold" should be augmented by "patience is a virtue".
We're off to Norfolk on Saturday for two weeks: another complete break from the internet. Honestly, the lengths we take to get away from our blogging compadres! The question is, will there be enough for us to do in Norfolk for two weeks? Once we've visited the Mustard Museum and paid homage to the Anglia tv knight on horse statue, what else is there to do?
I think I'm getting a bit nutty in my middle age. I mean, Norfolk! I ask you!
Happy Birthday, Mr. DeVice!
1 hour ago