Sunday, April 24, 2011

1066 Country

Yesterday we took the train to the coast. I used to drive to the coast but I get too tired nowadays on longer journeys than a few miles.

The train to Hastings was air conditioned. The air conditioning smelt of sweat but what do you expect in standard class?

Our nostrils were not given a rest all day. Toilets, fish, chips, fish 'n' chips, fish 'n' piss, barbecued meat, the wonderful smells of our seaside resorts.

As usual in Hastings, I decided to head for the cliffs. Except this time I couldn't find the way up. My memory's not what it was. So we turned back from the full car park and headed for St Leonards.

Past the burnt down pier, the people's pier, we walked along the prom prom prom, past sunbathers, lone young men with guitars, a group of people singing Tainted Love, big men cooking meat on barbecues and many lager drinkers. It was St George's Day and your racist little Englander would have been disgusted by the ethnic diversity on show, families from differing backgrounds brazenly enjoying themselves on a beautiful day on a relaxed not-too-crowded beach. Of course the pictures in the papers always show young blondes on Brighton or Bournemouth beaches on work days with unseasonally hot weather or a sea of bodies on the same two beaches on weekends or bank holidays.

Brighton and Bournemouth, young blondes splashing with joy.

What's wrong with a tattooed drunk with 9% lager and a pitbull snarling at the camera, UK Subs and The Vibrators at the local pub and chips gorged in their thousands?

Show us as we are.


  1. What? No Morris dancing?

  2. There was Morris dancing in the town centre. Watched by a few punch-drunk shoppers.

  3. No whelk stalls? No kiss-me-quick hats? No Lobby Lud? No jellied eels? What's the Old Country coming to?

  4. I bet nobody was wearing a knotted hankie. Not even the splashy blondes.

  5. I would have gravitated to the slotties

  6. Why didn't you tell us in advance? We could have had a party there.

  7. Christopher - No Lobby Lud but I did rugby tackle Chalkie White.

    Tim - No knotted hankies. No 3 piece suits.

    Rog - Did you bring your jar of pennies?

    Vicus - Next time when we go to Margate.

  8. What a sad sight re the pier.

    When I was on Brighton beach on Good Friday, I noticed a lot of fat birds with tattoos, so I don't think the media is portraying Brighton accurately either.

  9. I was on Bournemouth beach when I was 4. Didn't see any splashing blondes then.

  10. ...and even I'm ginger...

  11. No! There are less and less blondes out there by the minute!