My dear fellow,
When I visit your father in hospital, I do not wish to hear about your £2,000 lawnmower, your £8,000 boat, or the "fantastic" wedding reception you went to where the "blinding touch" of egg and bacon sandwiches being served to a plethora of pissed up philistines is the highlight of your life till now.
No, if you've got nothing to say about football or Coronation Street can you kindly keep your mouth zipped shut.
Happy Birthday, Mr. DeVice!
11 hours ago