Friday, October 21, 2005

A Very British Olympics

1948 London.

It is a very British Olympics, probably because it is done on the cheap. Athletes stay in PoW camps. PoWs help with building the infrastructure.

It is the first Olympics since the 1936 Berlin Games. 1940 and 1944 were cancelled, politics once again interfering in sport.

An innovation of the Adolf Hitler Games was the transportation by foot of the Olympic Torch from Greece to the city where the fun takes place. In 1948 London, the Olympic authorities are keen to continue this new tradition. And the man who carries the flame into the arena would not have looked out of place twelve years previously. He is tall, blond, gorgeous, with a very upright gait. He is chosen in preference to a skinny, balding, bespectacled little man who happens to be the best British male middle-distance runner of his generation.

The Games themselves are a success. The USA wins most medals and Sweden come second!Great Britain are the first hosts to finish outside the top ten. And the USSR snub the whole event.

The US male swimming team are a curiosity. One of their members has an elephantine member, himself. The other members of the team club together to hire him a prostitute on the prerequisite that they watch the action. The sensible lady refuses to accept such a large package. And probably such a large audience.

Which leaves me wondering. If I had a overly-endowed friend would I want to watch him in flagrante? Or would I hope that he wore a generously cut trouser, and when I went for a piss he wouldn't say, "I'm bursting meself, Geoff"?

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