No, it's not one of my front teeth that's gone, it's a side molar.
I still have marks from the dentist's knees and toenails on my chest and thighs respectively.
The pain's intermittent and I will survive.
Instead of putting the tooth under my pillow in return for a sixpence from a friendly fairy, I have cut out the middle man and placed the tooth straight into the Christmas pudding.
It'll be my own bit of Christmas Day magic as someone takes a bite, thinks they've lost a molar, then discovers with relief that they haven't.
Christ, it's dragging this year.......