Thursday, June 07, 2007

Eva Braun

On our last holiday, in Ghent, I had problems shaving. For some reason my travel adapter didn't fit the strange Belgian socket. I was powerless.

I bought some cheap disposable razors in a kind of department store (you won't find them in Belgian chemists). The shave I got from these was piss poor.

I've just bought a new electric shaver. The shave I get from it is passable. But I envy those men who get a really close shave. And using proper razors just seems to me so much more manly.

I like the idea of filling the bathroom sink with water, giving my cheek a good scrape, shaking the razor in the water, pulling my face into all sorts of contortions, repeating on the other cheek, and so on until I'd rinse my face with clean water, dab with a towel and splash on some Brut, or whatever the ladies go for nowadays.

The idea's nice, but whenever I try it I end up with several patches of bristle and blood. Sore and unsightly.

Is there a special technique? If so, are there courses on how to shave? A night class in, say, "Manly Shaving"? There's got to be a demand for it. I'm surely not the only one who feels less of a man for going electric.


  1. You could get one of those cut throat razors and a leather strap.
    I'm sure Betty would love to help.

    Forget the Brut etc. The smell of shaving cream is a real turn on.

  2. Electric razors give me a rash. I'm rubbish at shaving, I always miss a bit and end up with a lone hair on the corner of my lip.

  3. Kaz - I don't want Betty becoming the female Sweeney Todd and selling Geoff pie at the local market. I thought shaving cream must have something going for it. It gets in your mouth and tastes foul, you know.

    Billy - When I try I miss about one hair in ten. Shall I put us down for the shaving class? We need a teacher with cheeks like a baby's bottom. Do you think David Cameron could teach us?

  4. In the olden days there was something called "styptic pencil" which the barber would sell you after snipping off the end of your ear.

    Aren't they all manly in Ghent's Shops anyway?

  5. Electric shaves give me a rash, too. I always thought that only real men, with tough, leathery skin could use electrics.

    I have researched the wet shave market extensively, because I've never been satisfied. The trick with the wet shave is not to use the blade/disposable too many times, because it's the blunt razor that will cause the most damage.

    My current setup is the Wilkinson Sword triple-bladed Xtreme3 - I buy the green, not the blue. It's a disposable, but better than anything else I've tried.

    At one time I thought that any more blades than two caused too many problems (too wide to get nose hairs, too easily blocked by bristles), but this particular blade just about shades it. The 4- and 5-bladed models are a joke and best left to the suckers.

    As to the shaving medium, I use Vichy Homme, both the shaving mousse and the after shave balm, which keeps rashes and spots at bay. If I run out of that before my next trip to france, I use Somerset's shaving oil, which has the added bonus that you can see what you're doing more clearly than with foam.

  6. Murph - From Wikipedia: "Styptic pencils are also useful for stopping the flow of blood when trimming a cat or dog's claws." Do you share one with Mr P? And yes, they are all manly in the Ghent's.

    Bob - Thank you for the advice and thank you for calling me a real man with tough, leathery skin. I will be appearing in widescreen in a spaghetti western near you in the autumn.

  7. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

  8. Having just watched Rancho Notorious (Fritz Lang Western, with Marlene Dietrich) I think we should all get shaved by proper barbers (the type that hide when the shooting starts).

  9. Let me get this straight...

    ...we're all going to night-school to shave David Cameron's arse?

  10. Arabella - As Tony Blair advised Gordon Brown.

    Tim - I always expect Rancho Notorious to be a Russ Meyer film for some reason. With cowboys being shaved by large-breasted topless ladies.

    Istvanski - And while we're about it we'll do his balls with a cut-throat.

  11. I've just packed my travel adaptor so I can recharge my mobile while in Belgium with Billy. I hope my adaptor works.

    For shaving (legs and armpits) I currently have a Gillette Contour and a Mach 3. The Mach 3 was free in return for answering a survey about shaving habits.

  12. I tried a wet shave in Cornwall.

    It was not a success.