Monday, June 02, 2008

I Think I Need Some Sunshine

I'm going through a bit of a "blogging's a great way of making cyber friends but what, honestly, have any of us got in common?" phase. I haven't even got much in common with my real life friends, let alone you bunch of self-publishing egotists. Reading the Dawkins book doesn't help because I don't think I've got much in common with other atheists, either.

Take the British Humanist Association, of which Dawkins is a "distinguished" supporter. "The Humanist view of life is progressive and optimistic, in awe of human potential, living without fear of judgement and death, finding enough purpose and meaning in life, love and leaving a good legacy." So says President Polly Toynbee.

My view of life is pretty much the opposite to that. I am no optimist and I'm not going to leave a good legacy. I'm going to go out in an orgy of drink and drugs, not marveling at Mother Nature through Darwinian spectacles.

And as for the Association's "distinguished" supporters. Sirs, Lords, OBEs, MBEs, CBEs. Sir Jonathan Miller CBE! Come on Jonathan, you can do better than that! Sir Jonathan Miller CBE, GCE, BSc, Phd! There, that's better.


  1. Don't be an atheist, be a contrarian. Much more fun.

  2. I'm a contrarian atheist. I believe in God.

    Jonathan Miller, however, is a figment of some commissioning editor's imagination.

  3. Anything supported by Polly Toynbee is worth resisting with as much force as possible. Loathsome piece of shite she is.

    Self-publishing egotists? - blimey, who's grumpy today?

  4. Oh dear, I always thought I might be a humanist (not that I'd bother to ever 'join' anything), but I'm a bit dismayed by that list. Especially Polly Toynbee.

    I feel much more comfortable about having little in common with people on the internet than with people I have to meet on a regular basis in 'real' life though.

  5. Oh come on Geoff, you grumpy old fucker, it's just a phase, it'll pass. Before you know it you'll be fond of us all again.

  6. I'm a Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac Geoff.

    I lay awake at night wondering if there's a Dog.

    Then I remember there is.

  7. Billy - No. Er, OK.

    Tim - Didn't he work with some talented people 45 years ago?

    Malc - I don't remember reading anything by her. I always get her confused with Rosie Boycott though. Except I don't think she was into free love in the 60s.

    Beth - I've got much more in common with my blogging chums than with the people I see day to day. Blogging is my social life. Which is pretty sad, isn't it?

    Tom - I feel better today. I'm quite happy I don't fit in anywhere.

  8. Murph - And dog is doog.

  9. Geoff, far be if from me to counsel you in your choice of religion, but I can't help but feel that your temperament is far better suited to the low church type of outlook that believes that only the purest will attain salvation, and therefore the rest of us might as well jack it all in now. You can probably find a nearby chapel full of sour faced septuagenarians with piles singing dirges.
    I hope that this helps.

  10. Rather a dirge than that happy clappy stuff. And I don't want a trendy vicar but an old scrote with a reedy voice and a face like crepe paper. I wouldn't mind ringing the bells but I'd have to work on my stoop. Christ, I'm really warming to this. Where do you get those label-less dented tins for Harvest Festival?

  11. how about playing the organ in your spare time as well?

    Before you know it your life could be one long social whirl with like-minded merry souls.

  12. I played in a Christian rock band for a time when I was a teenager. They didn't mind that I wasn't a Christian and we did Walk This Way and didn't change the words to something more Christian, thankfully.

  13. Ziggi - I could be the new Jess Yates.
    "Allo Playmates!" - or is that Arthur Askey?

    Billy - God has all the good tunes!

  14. Are you still 46, Geoff? Perhaps you'll feel a bit more positive when you're 47.

  15. You need to join the Inhumanists

  16. Arabella7:10 PM

    Oh relief - I thought I was alone in an intense dislike of Polly Toynbee's writing for The Guardian: like being stuck in a library with the loudest, bulliest Prefect on the debating society team.
    It's quite possible, and doesn't make my head hurt, to believe in lots of things at once - eg. God and evolutionary theory, international labour and haute couture.

  17. Yeah, you bunch of self-publishing egotists.


    former self-publishing egotist.

    (I am, technically I suppose, a humanist. But declaring yourself as such just makes you sound like a cunt. And dopey people think that Humanism is some sort of religion so then you come across likeone of those rich kids who've done 2 yoga classes and then claim that they're Buddhist/Hindu/Zoroastrian. I'm a good old-fashioned athiest (lapsed catholic).)

  18. Christopher - My glass has gone from half-empty to half-full just thinking about it. 47, closer to heaven.

    Llewtrah - Sign me up!

    Arabella - Poor Polly. All I know about her is that she helped found the SDP and she wrote a book about being a middle class cleaner. But I can't stand bullies. Darwin and God are both too complicated for me. I wouldn't want a drink with either as going by their beards they'd probably bore you about real ale and cricket all night.

    Spin - At least you had something to rebel against. We just had a useless vicar at school who all the kids took the piss out of.

  19. Self-publishing egotist...I like it!

  20. ...I'm very common.