Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Crown Jools

"ATTENTION!"


Jools Holland is the new face of The Brennan JB7, the "revolutionary CD player with a hard disk that stores up to 5,000 CDs" or "computer" as the technology-minded amongst us might say.

The advert in today's Guardian is as much a promotion for the talents of Mr Holland as it is for this revolutionary piece of kit.

"Jools Holland is a pianist, bandleader, composer, singer, television host, founder of Squeeze and the multi-million selling Rhythm and Blues Orchestra," we are informed.

As the advert is aimed at old people like me who don't understand that you can load your CDs onto your PC or Mac, I am grateful to now be aware of Mr Holland's talents so that I can now go out and buy all the CDs he has played on, sung on and composed for, load them onto my new Brennan JB7 and then throw them away.

5 comments:

  1. Brennan has been taking out prominent advertisements in Private Eye for months now. They must have spent at least 100,000 quid.

    Which does make me wonder, if one of Hislop's minions discovered something dodgy about Mr Brennan and his activities, or that the JB7 had an unfortunate tendency to make your prized CDs of Bach Masses sound like, well, Jools Holland, would such information see the light of day?

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  2. Rog Lovejoy1:07 PM

    I like the way Brennan got his hair cut for the Newspaper ads after his hippy look for us Private Eye afficionados.

    You have to admire his flair for business though. The Country could do with more Brennans and 1 less Holland.

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  3. Tim - They'd have to sell a lot of machines to Private Eye readers to get their money back. Maybe Private Eye readers don't trust Media Player and itunes.

    Rog - I think having Holland as a face for the adverts will backfire. Should have gone for a renowned 80s producer like Steve Lillywhite.

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  4. I was accidentally steered into the Green Room of Cheltenham Literary Festival by a young woman who evidently confused me with a famous author to find myself sitting on a settee next to Jools Holland. He was most aloof to the famous author sitting next to him!

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  5. Jools thinks he's the bees knees.

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