I love Victoria Wood. I love her sketches. I love her sitcom, dinnerladies. But if there's one thing she'll be remembered for, it's her awful songs. This one in particular.
This song is the first thing I associate with her name, before any of the great work she's produced. For this is my regular earworm.
It's sheer bloody torture. It's so long. Just when you think she's finished, there's another verse. Then another.
"Let's Do It!" "Let's Do It!"
No! Please! I don't want to! Geoffrey doesn't want to do it! Please, Victoria, no!
And the climax, the bit at the end, the bit that's with me, day in, day out. The bit I can never get out of my head.
"Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly!"
It almost makes me physically sick.
8 hours ago