Sunday, October 07, 2007

Weekend Fun

So we go out for a curry to celebrate England's win. Rugby Union and Patriotism really are my favourite things. All those posh cunts singing about chariots really turns me on, in a Johnny Rotten and classical music kind of way.

So we go out for a curry, a mere 15 minute walk away. We're a bit nervous as last time we went out for a curry, in the town centre, Betty was verbally abused by some young tossers in a car on the way to the restaurant. And on the way back we were nearly killed by some young tosser in a car who thought it fun to drive at 50 m.p.h. jerking the steering wheel like it was his tiny cock.

So we're a bit nervous but this time we're not heading for the town centre, we're going down some quiet roads.

So ten minutes into our walk, we hear the screech of tyres. The car is coming up behind us. We've put our life in our hands again. The wanker revs up. We can hear the car speed up. He slows down, speeds up. He isn't jerking the steering wheel like it is his tiny cock but that's probably because there are a couple of girls in the back seat and he wouldn't want to scare them too much. No, he just wants to scare us pedestrians as he goes past us at 80 m.p.h. Thank fuck we survived, nervous but alive.

So we're within two minutes of the restaurant. A large group of teenage boys cross the road and arrange themselves into a pavement gauntlet. We don't run, just keep our heads down and walk through them, waiting for a comment which thankfully doesn't come.


In the restaurant, a couple of blokes talk about football, rugby and Ruskin. This is the first time I've ever heard Ruskin mentioned in Bexleyheath. Or rugby, come to think of it.


  1. Were they talking about The Ruskin in East Ham?
    Used to be a good rock pub before it partly turned into a Thai restaurant.
    I'm glad you and Betty survived the Staurday night drivers and lived to tell the tale.

  2. There is little other subject of conversation in Rugby. Nuneaton favours the discussion of the works of Mrs Gaskell.

  3. If you are Welsh, you can get away with liking rugby without being posh.

    I'm not Welsh and I hate rugby.

  4. Istvanski - I don't think it was the pub. They didn't look or sound like rockers. We don't get many rockers round here. Just us.

    Vicus - Is there a Rugby Rugby Football Club?

    Billy - Argentina are playing at the moment. I'm trying to work out whether the players are from the barrios or from where the polo set live. If you're Welsh you can also get away with liking opera without being posh.

  5. You'd better go and live in East Angular. Bet they talk about Ruskin all the time there.

  6. The only thing I can remember about Ruskin is that he on his wedding night he was so dumbfounded by the sight of his wife's pubic hair (the only naked women he'd seen were classical statues, devotees of the goddess Veet) that he had a complete breakdown, the marriage fell to bits, and he dies a virgin.

    (Unless you mean Ruskin Spear, the artist and dad of Roger out of the Bonzos.)

  7. Kaz - Trouble is East Angular has its fair share of idiots in cars. Better curry houses, though.

    Tim - When it came to facial hair, it was the more the merrier for Ruskin. He was so ashamed of his own pubes he grew his beard so long it covered his privates.