Saturday, September 05, 2009

Bob Boskins

An old actor friend of mine died a few weeks ago. At his funeral there were all these luvvie types saying how he would have wanted us to celebrate his life, not mourn his death. You know the scene from Four Weddings & A Funeral? Just like that, it was.

This twat in a beret got up and performed a poem. "Rage, rage against the dying of the light." His was a very soft voice which did not rage well but there was not one dry eye in the house, save mine.

It was a Humanist funeral, full of smug cunts. A Dawkins-lite tosser in a cream suit took the service. Fuck knows how he managed to sneak Darwin into it, but I suppose the deceased was a bit ape-like.

The spit of Bob Hoskins, in fact. I used to call him the cockney Bob Hoskins. I did this short at film school, Bob Boskins, in which he played the leading role. You've seen Being John Malkovich? Based on Bob Boskins, that was. Did I get the credit? Did I, fuck.

So they played a Rufus Wainwright song as we all took a few minutes to remember our friend. Rufus Wainwright. I hate him. My dead friend hated him. He obviously wanted me to suffer because he knew all those luvvie types like all that fake emotion.



  1. Please will you plan my funeral Geoff.
    I'll send you an e mail nearer the time.

  2. My friend and I have discussed our funeral plans in advance.

    I'm to throw my martini glass at the coffin just before throwing myself upon it.

    He intends to be a drama queen right up until the end.

  3. Kaz - Certainly. It'll be the best funeral ever.

    MJ - Will the coffin be open at the time? That's where Michael Jackson went wrong with Usher.

    Vicus - I love everybody.

    wv - craip (Paper?)

  4. I've always suspected Darwin and Dawkins are the same man - a premise I believe Dawkins would be delighted to claim if only his beliefs permitted it. Surnames, photographs and theories all amazingly similar as if Dawkins were a continuation of the pigheadedness of Darwin.

    Yes, I've no time for humanists either - the only honest non-believers in my view are agnostics as at least they don't have any arrogance or fervant beliefs in any direction, yet remain big enough to keep an open mind and admit they 'don't know'.

  5. When us kids said we were agnostics to a very religious old woman she said there's no such thing, you either believe or you don't. An atheist is not necessarily a humanist. I am a misanthropic atheist :)