Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Greens' Staycation

Mr & Mrs Green planned their staycation with military precision. Each day they were to rise early, take breakfast on the patio, pack their rucksacks with books, sun cream, hats, umbrellas and medication, and take a gentle stroll to the train station with plenty of time to buy tickets for their destination.

The Greens were not affected by the credit crunch. They just wanted a carbon-neutral year. They wanted the local economy to benefit so their budget was to be without limit. By not spending all that money on travel and accommodation, they could do whatever they wanted to, without reason.

Mrs Green fancied the London Eye. Mr Green didn't so much as he had a terrible fear of heights. He didn't mind flying but those pods looked so exposed up there!

On the other hand, Mr Green liked the idea of the London Aquarium. But guess what! Mrs Green had a fish phobia!

But, of course, the beauty of a staycation is that all that money saved on fares and hotels can be spent on things that don't damage the environment. And it so happened that Mr & Mrs Green knew exactly what to do to ensure they both enjoyed every second of their two weeks off.

They would spend the money on seeing a hypnotherapist to conquer their fears.

So for the equivalent of two weeks in the Bahamas they got to go on a big wheel and see some cunting fish. And it pissed down with rain most of the days.


  1. This is autobiographical, isn't it Geoff? I guessed that from the last sentence.

  2. Rog: My thoughts exactly.

  3. nice today though wasn't it, just the sort of weather to stay at home in and . . . I don't know? How are you at barbecuing Geoff? I'm sure you'd enjoy that nearly as much as the eye and the fish.

  4. Rog - No it isn't! We had a lovely day at the zoo and I wasn't scared of the snakes one little bit!

    MJ - No, no, no!

    Ziggi - Weekends don't count as staycation days. They're just like other weekends.

  5. I've thought of seeing a hypnotherapist to cure me of my frog phobia.
    But I'm scared of hypnotherapists.

  6. I just had a word with David Attenborough, and he wants to know more about these Cunting Fish of which you speak.

  7. Kaz - You would have loved the cute little yellow frogs we saw in the reptile house. Each one had enough poison to kill 10 humans.

    Tim - Attenborough knows all about the Cunting Fish. They were swimming round his shorts during the filming of Life On Earth.

  8. This is the greatest thing I have read in a long time.

  9. Thank You Greens for all the Tree-hugging restraint. I feel guilt free about using up your theoretical carbon points and cranking my air conditioner, using the hottest water setting in all of my appliances, and driving the two blocks to the corner store in my Hummer...and letting it idle.


  10. Have you moved south of the border, Donn? I thought you Canucks cared about our little planet!