Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Blue Is The Colour (Stick Your Blue Flag Up Your Arse)

I hope you'll all be voting tomorrow. We Londoners will be going up the old apples and pears without having put our crosses on any bits of paper as we're not included this time round.

On their route to winning the next General Election, the Tories need a good showing tomorrow. According to today's Today show on Radio 4, 40% of the vote isn't enough. No, they need to be aiming for 42, 43, 44, 45% of the vote. To achieve this, David Cameron "has to break out of the wine bars of Southern England."

Silly me. I was under the impression that wine bars died out at about the same time that Sade's pop career took a nose dive. I didn't realise there was a thriving wine bar scene and that these establishments were hotbeds of political discourse, where discussions about that bloody socialist Gordon Brown's "stealth taxes" raged into the night. Where battle plans were drawn up to fight New Labour and the Lib Dems on the Green issue, aided by the pamphlet "How to save the planet by making the rich richer and the poor poorer."

I must get out more.


  1. I had a shock this morning - I saw a 'Vote Labour' sticker on a car window. But on closer inspection - it was obviously 10 years old.

    I think all the wine bars have been converted into 'trendy banks'.

  2. Was the car an Austin Allegro?

    Maybe the trendy banks are where all the Cameron fans are hanging out with their financial advisors.

  3. I don't want to be near the wine bar when they break out - they're going to be so excited they'll probably trample me.

  4. Sade's career nose-dived??? When did that happen then?

  5. Billy - What's the term for a bunch of over-excited Tories? A bray?

    Murph - Come on, keep up. This is the 90s now. Things can only get better!

  6. A wank of Tories? No, that clearly refers to Tories in general, not just when they are in over-excited mode.
    Yes, why aren't we Londoners being given the chance to deliver one final kick to Blair's hopefully soon-departing arse?

  7. Problem is where we live, it's either Labour or Tory. No matter how much I despise Blair, a vote for someone else (Lib Dems)is a waste of time. I once tried a tactical Lib Dem vote to get the Tories out. The Lib Dem candidate came last.

  8. What the hell happened in Scotland? Demand a recount! Remember Bannockburn!

  9. One bloke in Edinburgh was so upset he attacked a ballot box with a golf club.

    They didn't say whether it was a Red Wedge.

  10. We have a Provincial Election ((BORING)) and a Federal Election is imminent even more ((BORING))

    Our political landscape is so's always either vote Tory Flat Earth Society What Would Jesus Do Only Little People Pay Taxes Let Them Eat Cake Kill Them All Let God Sort Them Out

    or Liberal Socialista Earth Hugging Everything Is Beautiful In It's Own Way Make the Rich Pay Vote For Us Just To Piss Off The Yanks Blah Blah Blah Blah

    Whatever happened to the Middle?