Wednesday, May 23, 2007

For Weddings And Blue

Heart are playing my daily dose of Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations.

I can't stand this song. It makes me think of a wedding reception with some wanker of a pissed up uncle embarrassing himself on the dancefloor. Just horrific.

On further investigation I discover the song was a highlight in the film There's Something About Mary. You know, the one in which Cameron Diaz uses semen as a hair gel. Hilarious!

It's a shame this fashion didn't catch on: rampant, unemployed teenage boys could have been utilised by barbers to shoot the contents of their loins into freshly cut boyband hair.

Just think of the benefits to the environment!

18 comments:

  1. Hair gel, eh?

    It also makes a nice moisturizer.

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  2. I have made a note that you have moved from a discussion about a cheery little tune to a scene of perversion involving adolescent boys in just 6 sentences, (including some which are not real sentences).
    Well done!

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  3. I just want to say I fucking hated that song back in nineteen hundred and ought oh eight, or whenever it was; and I fucking hate it still.

    Forgive my language. I've had a coupla beers and forgotten my manners.

    On the subject of hair gel, I have nothing to say. except I'm a stranger to the stuff.

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  4. The Sex Pistols used to do a riproaring cover version, though - and Ivan Julian, later of the Voidoids, was a one time Foundation.
    I'm a mine of useless pop info.

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  5. Are there any other uses for sperm?Other than the obvious one. Does it work as an all purpose adhesive? I'm thinking hemming ad attaching name tags to school uniforms rather than anything heavy duty.

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  6. MJ - And a wonderful lip salve.

    Vicus - Do you think I could have taught Dickens a thing or two?

    Mark - If you hate it that much you'd need more than a couple of beers to get through a week where I work.

    Anthony - So some good came from The Foundations. There are some strange old rock family trees out there.

    Realdoc - Remember the advert for wallpaper adhesive where the bloke's flying through the air? He's stuck with sperm.

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  7. (Crawls off, utterly defeated by Anthony in the pop trivia stakes. Wonders for a moment if he can suggest that Johnny Thunders might have been in an early incarnation of The Hollies, but... nah. Continues crawling...)

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  8. Never an effective gel of course at being male it refuses to take directions from anybody and you end up looking like Johnny Rotten after he left Brotherhood of Man.

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  9. And Iggy was once a back up singer for Shirley Bassey - although didn't Led Zeppelin really once perform backing duties for Dusty Springfield?

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  10. Without Dusty, the Zep would have been nothing.

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  11. S'right. Frilly blouses and big hair - they stole the lot.

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  12. It was just Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones doing the session work I think pre-Zep but I'm sure somebody will correct me if I'm wrong.

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  13. No, I think you're right, dh.

    (Phew... back on solid ground... now just wait for someone to regurgitate the urban myth that Page played the guitar solo on 'It's Not Unusual' by Tom Jones AND LAUGH IN HIS FACE!!!)

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  14. Plant and Bonham were still children.

    The other two were MEN.

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  15. Jimmy played on Electric Los Angeles Sunset with Al Stewart. He was on everything at the time. Every record, that is.

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  16. I blame Alastair Crowley.

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  17. I always thought it was something else other than hairspray that those punks used in order to maintain those vertical mohican hairstyles.

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  18. I blame the Great Beast for a lot of things.
    But wouldn't it be great if Jimmy Page had had a secret career playing sessions for every MOR lounge act you could think of? Englebert for a start. Much better than all that screaming and shouting he usually backs up.

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