My Name Is...

You know you're getting on a bit when nobody knows how to spell your name. Nobody knows how to spell your name because your name hasn't been popular as a baby's name for 40 odd years. There just aren't any young Geoffs coming through.

So when someone asks my name, I say either...

1. "Geoffrey with a 'G'." In which case I get correspondence addressed to "Geoffery".

or...

2. "Geoffrey." In which case I receive correspondence addressed to "Jefferey".

They don't realise my name has two syllables. They think it has three. They don't listen to how I pronounce my name.

I don't mind, but if somebody at school had called me Geoffery or Jefferey I would have thought they were taking the piss. No, no two ways about it, they would have been taking the piss, maybe addressing me as if I was "little baby Geoffery." They would have been a bully so I wouldn't have said anything back, just taken it on the chin.

But that never happened as all the kids at school called me "Geoff" or "Geoffrey Bubbles Bom Bom". Which is about as affectionate as I could have hoped for.

But now I'm old and Geoffery is my official name. I am of three syllables. So you can call me Geoffery Three Syllables.

Just don't stress the middle one.