Thursday, July 05, 2007

My Name Is...

You know you're getting on a bit when nobody knows how to spell your name. Nobody knows how to spell your name because your name hasn't been popular as a baby's name for 40 odd years. There just aren't any young Geoffs coming through.

So when someone asks my name, I say either...

1. "Geoffrey with a 'G'." In which case I get correspondence addressed to "Geoffery".


2. "Geoffrey." In which case I receive correspondence addressed to "Jefferey".

They don't realise my name has two syllables. They think it has three. They don't listen to how I pronounce my name.

I don't mind, but if somebody at school had called me Geoffery or Jefferey I would have thought they were taking the piss. No, no two ways about it, they would have been taking the piss, maybe addressing me as if I was "little baby Geoffery." They would have been a bully so I wouldn't have said anything back, just taken it on the chin.

But that never happened as all the kids at school called me "Geoff" or "Geoffrey Bubbles Bom Bom". Which is about as affectionate as I could have hoped for.

But now I'm old and Geoffery is my official name. I am of three syllables. So you can call me Geoffery Three Syllables.

Just don't stress the middle one.


  1. It is as I feared: nobody reads Chaucer.

  2. I'm afraid not.

    And if they do, they read a 21st century English language version.

  3. Have these people not heard of the sainted Mr Boycott?

  4. I thought a "Jeffrey" had fallen into common parlance meaning £2000 in used tenners in a brown envelope.

    Jeffrey Barnard is unwell.

  5. Vicus - Boycott & wonder the name went out of fashion.

    Murph - Then again, we Geofferys get Chaucer. The Jeffereys get Archer. I wish to remain a Geoffery.

  6. Isn't there a song: "Geoffrey with one F, geofreyyyy. Here it is: Pixies of course.

    "Space (I Believe In)"

    We needed something to move and fill up the space
    we needed something this always is just the case
    jefrey with one f jeffery took up his place
    sat on a carpet and with tablas in hand took up the chase
    jefrey with one f jefrey
    now it occurred to me as he drove away
    d= r x t
    spacious (he's so) spacios
    (i belive in ) space
    jefrey with one f jeffery
    now i'm going to sing the perry mason theme
    (he's so) spacious
    (he's so) spacious
    (he's so) spacious
    jefrey with one f jeffery
    jefrey with one f jeffery
    jefrey with one f one f.

    Or joffre if you are in France.

  7. I know the song well.

    I'm pretty spacious between the ears.

  8. Then there's Madhur Jaffrey.

    Or does that just confuse matters even more?

  9. That's Jafferey, of course.

    The original Spice Girl.

  10. Have you considered a J-Lo-style rebrand?


  11. Nobody spells my name right - damn my parents' obscurantism. Which is why on the interwebs I'm Billy which any idiot can spell.

  12. Most people, asking about Betty, pronounce her real name the wrong way, too. And they always think she's from Birmingham because I tell them her home town's 30 miles north of Birmingham.