Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Surely He Must Have Something Better To Do With His Time

First of all, apologies to Kaz for persuading her that it might be worth buying a Scott Walker album. He is not to many people's taste - he's a bit of a cult, and a moody cult at that. The amount of money I've wasted on cults in the past!

I'm most of the way through Scott 2 on my chronological Scott journey. And pretty early on in this album is a song called The Amorous Humphrey Plugg. "Aha!" I said, "yet another song with a fictional man's name in the title. There must be hundreds of those."

Then I started to list them...

Pink Floyd's (Syd's) Arnold Layne
Blur's Ernold Same (narrated by Ken Livingstone to demonstrate how boring Ernold's life was)
David Watts by The Kinks or The Jam (both bands definitely with definite articles)
ELO's The Diary of Horace Wimp
Toilet Duck Walking Chuck Berry's Johnny B Goode

Er, that's it. "Can you think of any more?" I ask Betty.

She got all Jonesy.

"The Supremes' Nathan Jones."
"Smithers-Jones" by The Jam.

And...that's it.

There must be more! Feel free to let me know who we're missing. It's driving me mad! (Mr Kite and other names with titles do not count, yes I'm making up the rules as I go along).

I've set myself the task to go through the lyrics of these songs and write a few lines about each of the individual characters. Unless, of course, you tell me I'm wasting my time as nobody gives a bollock about them.


  1. This is a bit sexist - I can only come up with Jennifer Eccles.
    I'll have another think.

  2. Billy Porter by Mick Ronson
    Vambo Marble Eye by Alex Harvey
    Johnny B Rotten by The Monks
    there must be hundreds.

    Can I admit that I always liked Horace Wimp without being judged too harshly?

    WV: farcky (honest)

  3. Kaz - I'm particularly looking for songs about little men with funny names and sad, monotonous lives. I suppose that discounts Johnny B Goode.

    HE - Thank you for your suggestions, two of which I'd never heard of and the other I've got but have never listened to the words. It's alright to like Wimp (the song) but I'm not so sure about liking Wimp (the character).

  4. Sonny Skies - James Taylor
    Jubilation T Cornfield - Some old Show
    April Love - Pat Boone
    Emily Play - Floyd
    Georgie - Rod Stewart
    Angie Babie - Helen Reddy
    Simon Smith - Alan Price

    ...give me a few days...

  5. Murph - You and your Helen Reddy!

    Simon Smith is a good one but the bear tends to take some of the limelight. And what in God's name is Some Old Show?

  6. Mr Suit by Wire. He's got no time for bickerers, or so he says.

  7. Murph - you aren't allowed women - you know - like 'bitches'.

    Talking of Pat Boone - there's Speedy Gonzales.
    How about Slim Shady or Jumpin Jack Flash.
    Sorry - not really sad and monotonous enough are they?

    Perhaps we can do women for Christmas.

  8. Sorry, I didn't read the question properly.

    And it was JUBILATION T. CORNPONE from Lil' Abner : The Musical (1956) (Gene De Paul / Johnny Mercer) sung by Stubby Kaye. I feel ashamed to have sullied this zeitgeisty blog with such old dross, but in some way it repays the cancerous spread of Scott Walker which appeared to start here.

  9. Jennifer Juniper by Donovan

    Johnny Ryall by the Beastie Boys

    Richard Cory by Simon & Garfunkel

    Bob George by Prince

  10. Black Jack Davy.
    How could you, in this or any other universe, overlook him.
    I am so cross I might even have to post something on my blog.

  11. Violet - Sorry, no Misters allowed. Wire knock The Jam into a cocked hat, though.

    Kaz - They're fine except Slim Shady is an alter-ego. I've thought of a few women and might do another post.

    Murph - Stubby Kaye? Gene Pool? Were they on shellac? I know Johnny Mercer managed England for about 2 weeks once.

    Tim - Good, except the Beastie Boys are excluded because that song probably sounds like all their others: "Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner NER!". And I didn't know Prince was into darts. Did he play with Marvin Gaye?

    Vicus - I always knew you were a secret Dylan fan.

  12. Erm, if we can't have Jonny B. Goode then I suppose it's an early bath for Jonny Too Bad?
    Al Capone is heading for the shower too.
    S'all I got.

  13. "The Universe of Geoffrey Brown" by Captain Sensible. A whole album dedicated to a semi-fictitious character.

  14. Eddie Walker - Ben Folds Five
    Jonathan David - Belle & Sebastian
    Billy Hunt - The Jam

    ('Billy Hunt ' is a rubbish song though)

  15. Arabella - Your Jonnys have reminded me of Little Johnny Jewel by Television.

    Istvanski - Who said punks can't do concept albums?

    Beth - The Jam are the quintessential downtrodden little man band, aren't they?

  16. Blur (again) - 'Colin Zean' and 'Dan Abnormal'
    The Beatles - 'The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill' and 'Rocky Raccoon'
    Divine Comedy - 'Come Home Billy Bird'
    David Bowie - 'Ziggy Stardust'
    Nick Cave - 'Henry Lee'

    I can think of lots of non-fictional ones, but I'm guessing that's cheating. Curses those pesky rules.

  17. Thanks, Del. I think Blur take the lead.