Thursday, April 10, 2008

Crap Nav

I go downstairs to discuss an important business matter (ha ha ha).

Just as I reach the front counter, a man enters the building.

He is Irish and is looking for Covent Garden Fruit & Veg Market. He said he put SW8 into the sat nav and ended up here.

Here is Covent Garden WC2, in the sparkling, touristy, soulless heart of London.

The original Covent Garden Fruit & Veg Market was here. It was moved to Vauxhall in 1974.

I can't help him on his way because I've no idea where SW8 is or how to get there.

Besides, even if I did know it, I am the world's worst at giving directions.


  1. I use the mountains as a landmark as in "Drive toward the mountains."

    Or when I lived in Toronto it was, "Drive toward the CN Tower."...but not too far or you'll end up in the lake, ha ha ha.

    Don't you have some sort of massive landmark as a navigational aide? What about that Millennium Wheel Whatsit?

  2. MJ. Try harder. You would only land up in the lake if the CN Tower was surrounded by the lake, or if the lake were between you and the tower.
    The same logic applies to your nonsense about the wheel. A visible landmark is only useful if that is your destination. Silly girl.
    Giving directions? Don't bother: in my view one place is much the same as another.

  3. I can get lost quite easily without a sat nav.
    I always set out half an hour early after printing out the multimap and sticking it on the windscreen the right way up.
    It usually ends in tears.

  4. MJ - The wheel would have been in the right general direction. For starters. Then he could have asked a clueless tourist.

    Vicus - He could have dumped his fruit & veg on one of the annoying buskers. Juggle these!

    Kaz - I should have printed a multimap for him. I feel guilty now.

  5. I was once with my dad in a pub, when a flustered motorist came in and asked for directions to a village that nobody had heard of. Mentioned another one - blanks all round.

    It was only when my dad noticed he was holding a guidebook to 'Constable Country' that the truth began to dawn.

    "Constable Country? Isn't that Suffolk?"

    "Yes. Aren't we in Suffolk?"

    "No. This is Sussex."


    Turns out he'd had a mjor misunderstanding with the M25.

  6. This is where satnav and postcodes come into their own. Or so you would think.

  7. Anonymous1:52 PM

    Just point him in the direction of Duckies.

  8. I had to google Duckies. I am so naive.

  9. I think sat nav should be called prat nav - what's wrong with looking at a map and remembering it? I hate the sat nav voice thing. I will not have it. And it often sends you round the block unneccesarily.

  10. It seems to send some round the twist.