Tuesday, May 12, 2009

La Mort

Last night I dreamt I was on my death bed. I was surrounded by all the accountants and trainee accountants I have known in my working life.

I think I can read this dream. But just imagine if it were to become real.

Suffice to say I don't want accountants surrounding my death bed. In fact, I don't want people at all. I want a solitary robin, singing his little heart out, perched on my window sill. He'd look at me with sympathy and I'd breathe my last.


  1. This might come true if you insist on texting twitter on roundabouts.

  2. Nightmare, more like.

  3. Only slightly on topic... Nigel Slater asked Alan Bennett (I know, why don't I get invited to those parties?) what he'd want as a last meal if he knew he was going to die. AB said he'd want a cup of coffee and a slice of walnut cake. Is that all? asked Slater, incredulous. "Well," said Bennett, "if I knew I was going to die, I probably wouldn't be very hungry."

  4. I'd like to go looking at the sea from the safety of land. However, I'm convinced I'll die falling down stairs - I dream that often enough.

  5. I'd like my death bed to be like Le Moribund by Brel but without all the key changes.

  6. I'm gutted Alan Bennett didn't want a Macaroon.

  7. What a lovely scene.
    Make sure you keep the window closed - those robins are viscious sods with their pecking - and you want to die beautiful.

  8. Rog - White van man hates us fackin' Stephen Fry types.

    MJ - What? A gaggle of accountants round your bed? Some people would call that a fantasy!

    Tim - A national treasure. But funny with it.

    Arabella - It would be nice to end with the sun setting behind the sea. Followed by a big FIN in front of your eyes. Though not a shark's.

    Ziggi - Robin Cousins, on zimmer frame, on ice.

    Billy - Or Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks with Terry bearing down on you.

    Rog - The scales have fallen from my eyes.

    Kaz - They only attack if you wear red. Which means I'll have to wear my blue pyjamas.

  9. I think I'd like a nurse with a lot of morphine... hell, this would probably be fun even if I wasn't on my deathbed...

  10. Deathbed? Poppycock.
    I am going to die storming Westminster and establishing the People's Republic.

  11. Goodness, how sad. Straight out of Oscar Wilde. Couldn't you train those accountants and trainees to perch on the window sill and sing something appropriate? (Preferably not Who killed Cock Robin.)

  12. I'd like to go in the pigshed, big heart attack, face down in the grime. Think of the saving on pig feed.

  13. He'd probably be thinking, 'if I wait here long enough, there'll be some nice juicy worms to eat'.

  14. Scarlet - "Sister, MORPHINE!"

    Vicus - I'll watch BBC Parliament that day.

    Christopher - The Singing Accountants. Or, perhaps, The King's Singers.

    Malc - Your pigs will love you all the more for it.

    Rol - What an enduring image!

  15. Accountants?..then make bloody sure that you have the machine tha goes PING...
    it's the most expensive machine in the entire hospital!

    It's Owls that show up on the window ledge when y'er going to die not Robins.

    So you need to have an answer at the ready when it asks "WHO?"

  16. OMG! Accountants administering the last rites...???

    Purgatory guaranteed.

  17. Moot - The eyes have it.

    Laura - The balance sheet isn't looking too healthy.