Thursday, March 23, 2006

I Am A Cold Killer

One's dreams are OK as a subject for blogging, if used sparingly. There's nothing worse than a blogger going on and on about his dreams week after week. Like we're really interested that he met Arthur Brown in his DREAMS?

Put a sock in it, you wanker.

But every now and then a dream needs to be exorcised on the web. Keep fit and all that.

Quite often I dream that I'm a murderer and that the body is under the patio, but nobody else knows that I'm a murderer or that anybody is missing. It may be true that I've committed such a terrible act, but I can't for the life of me think who I may have done in. My memory isn't what it was so if anybody can help me out I will be most grateful.

Last night I had a dream which suggested to me that the crime I may have committed was not wholly my responsibility and that my murderous ways are indeed inherited.

My grandad was sitting there, alive and awake, asking me if I could investigate our family tree as he believed that his uncle's grandfather had been a murderer. Of course he gave me little to go on, and all I could say to my grandad was that I'd seen his own name on the 1908 census.

"I know who I am, Geoffrey. I want to know about my uncle's grandad."

What do you think? Is it worth joining Genes Reunited and risk finding out I'm related to Dr Crippen or Dr Shipman? Although I doubt that anybody from my gene pool would have had the intelligence to qualify as a doctor.

But you never know.


  1. I know this is not what you wanted: but Genes Reunited. What is it about? All that happens is it sends you emails telling you about someone else who has the same name as you. And? Since when is it likely that someone bearing my name and born within a year or two of me is going to be a relative?

    Especially as I no longer live in Hungerford*.

    *massive school. Six surnames on the roll. Nuff said.

  2. But surely you all must be a descendant of great great great great great great grandad Beep?

    Just look at the Horrockses...oh bloody hell Geoff, don't start up that again.

  3. Some people have all the best dreams!
    I never dream anything more exciting than getting lost in the woods.
    I think I used to though.

  4. I have really cool nightmares sometimes. They're not cool while they're happening but great to write down for later use in my really psychotic novel which will hopefully someday be published!
    Just in case you thought you were a lost cause, I figured I'd share that!