Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Just a little something from BBC's History of Light Entertainment which I should be writing about because this is a TELLY blog after all.

The next time someone uses the word "Oxbridge" I'm going to call the police and get them arrested.

Stephen Fry says "Oxbridge educated Smith and Jones blah blah blah..."

Unfunny sick face Smith went to Oxford and unfunnier halitosis face Jones went to Cambridge. They did not go to "Oxbridge". "Oxbridge" doesn't exist.

As far as I'm aware a double act from Yale and Harvard aren't described as "Yarvard educated". A double act from Liverpool and Manchester Universities aren't described as "Manpool educated".

Who do they think they are, these "Oxbridge educated" show offs?

Do they think they run the country or something?


  1. Camford was a much better place.

    Durham and Warwick and they would be Dick educated

  2. I've always preferred a 'ford' to a 'bridge'.

    Like a Constable painting.

    Constable educated = Cambridge and Whitstable.

  3. The University of Whitstable?

  4. Get a degree there and the world's your oyster.

  5. Oxbridge does exist, it is a nice little village in Dorset. All these Oxbridge educated people must have been to the village school. Which given the number of Oxbridge educated people about must have been about one hundred times bigger than the village. And not a bad school.

  6. They must knock those Dorset accents out of them, David. You don't get many burrs from the boys of Oxbridge.

    Just been reading your very enjoyable blog. I'll definitely be over there regularly.

  7. I have a token Oxbridge friend.

    You might be hugely shocked to learn that his mother was a high court judge, his father was something high-flying in telly, and he's now a barrister.

    He is a bit weird, though.

  8. When I was at school...we had this thing every year where the people who had been 'hand selected' to apply for Oxbridge had to stand up in assembly. It was all about power. On my last year of name was called out and I refused to stand up. Partly because I was wearing a skirt made out of a cushion cover and a top made out of a dressing-gown but because I refused to be part of it. There was a huge silence but I didn't care. My friends were really mad at me. But still I didn't stand up. I got really told off. I didn't apply and I have no regrets. I would rather have eaten my own vomit, or someone else's in fact, than apply there.

    And that's why I'm now working in a fortune cookie factory in Eltham.

  9. I have a token Camford friend. His mum was a housewife and his dad was a travelling salesman. He did that staying on after the sixth form thingy to do the Oxbridge entrance exam. I'm not sure but I think he'd rather have gone to Warwick. My friend is now a history teacher near Lyme Regis, having never escaped the education loop.

  10. I don't think any of our year at school were Oxbridge material.

    And I don't think many of us were ready for speaking with girls.

    I think an atheist monastery would have been the best place for us.

  11. I have an idea.

    You should only be allowed to say you were "Oxbridge educated" if you attended BOTH universities.

    Or if, like Mr Justajob says, they went to school in the REAL Oxbridge.

    That should shut about 90% of the fuckers up.

  12. I presume that means a doctorate at the other one.

    Eamonn Holmes has got an Honorary degree in Media Studies (Staffs University) and and Honorary Doctorate in English (Queen's Belfast).

    That's the way to do it. Get an honorary degree from one and an honorary doctorate from the other.

    Uh, but then I wouldn't be educated there would I?

    I really want an honorary degree from Cambridge. Maybe then I could be an honorary member of Footlights. Are they still going?

    "This parrot is dead. This is a dead parrot. This parrot has expired. This parrot has drawn its last breath. This parrot has gone to the other side. This parrot is brown bread. This parrot is no longer alive..."

    I can do it!