2003 - "You've got to keep yourself busy in retirement, Geoff. Got to keep your mind and body active. Bowls is brilliant, you're out in the fresh air, you get a bit of exercise. Keeps you young you know, does bowls."
2004 - "You can always come along for a roll up, Geoff. The club's always looking for new blood. Go on, just think how good you'll be by the time you retire."
2005 - "It's old Ernie's funeral tomorrow. 85, he was. Didn't look it. Lovely man, he was. Cheeky sense of humour."
2006 - "Every time we come back from holiday it seems another one's gone. Big man, Tom. 6 foot 6. Very young and healthy looking for 78. Didn't look his age. It was a happy release only 4 months after he was diagnosed. We're all looking round now, wondering who's next."
Is postmodernism to blame?
1 day ago
*waits for Betty to do photo spread on the Men of Bowls*
ReplyDeleteThese are amateurs.
ReplyDeleteIt would be the bowls equivalent of Readers' Wives.
I quite like bowls, it's not on the telly enough.
ReplyDeleteI tried it once and I wasn't that rubbish, which was a pleasent surprise when it comes to me doing sport.
I would like to go bowling with you lot. I wonder where there is a bowling green in London - there are probably millions. It is much more sedate (and less terrifying) than ice-skating..as Billy will testify. And you can look elegant as you swing your ball. None of that mad brushing you get in that ice version.
ReplyDeleteThe only time I've tried it is at the public greens at Hyde Park, near the RAH. I wasn't too bad, to be honest. It's all crown green up here and quite a few pubs have their own greens out back. Might give it a go one day.
ReplyDeleteI tried to bowl a wood once but I was very young and could hardly hold it, it was so big and I had small hands. And it had a massive bias which I didn't use properly so it ended up being a very sad roll which petered out very slowly.
ReplyDeleteI quite like watching curling and its furious brushing but I think I'd go arse over tit if I tried it.
Bowls is arse. Boules, that's a proper game. But it has to be played on a shitty bit of gravel by middle-aged gits smoking Gitanes and drinking Marc. Rather than by happy families in Boden trousers.
ReplyDeleteCroquet, on the other hand, pisses on both of them. Evil, twisted game.
I'm amused that you like curling. That's so Canadian of you, despite the Scottish origins.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to play a game of bowls on acid.
Tim - I once saw some very old men playing presumably the Maltese version of boules on Malta. It was a shame we had to get back on the coach because I would've liked to have watched for longer.
ReplyDeleteMinion - Thank you. I've got the same image and they all have my face.
MJ - I loved the Scottish women in the Winter Olympics before last. I'm not so sure about bowls on acid but I wouldn't mind playing snooker in black and white. Are there any drugs that turn everything monochrome?
I was in the park round the corner from my house today and guess what? There was a bowling green. But you have to be a *member* so I better join.
ReplyDeleteI'd just like to say Geoff...that you did get a point for Iggy Pop...not half a point. You got a full point. Betty wanted me to put that straight..xxx
Australians like bowls, although they insist on emphasising the "crown green" bit for some odd reason.
ReplyDeleteThere's quite a few antipodeans near me, so I might stop one in the street and ask where I can go bowling.
Molly - I used to be a member of a club which had tennis and bowls next to each other. We used to annoy the bowlers by hitting our tennis balls onto their precious green. I don't like clubs - they're too precious.
ReplyDeleteBilly - Isn't Aussie Rules bowls where you get to pick up the wood and run with it?
And Molly - I would never have got Iggy Pop if it wasn't for Betty. Soda to me is linked with ice cream soda and many happy childhood drinks.
ReplyDeleteKnickerbocker Glory was always too big and rude.
ReplyDeleteIce cream sodas are just the best ever thing in the world. I still secretly drink Cream Soda when no-one is looking. It still tastes lovely...but better when you go the whole hog and make the real thing. YUM!
ReplyDeleteWait until Pepsi Latte reaches the UK, Molls. It's like cream soda meets the more outre reaches of the Starbucks menu. Horrible, but intriguing.
ReplyDeleteMolly, this could either go two ways but have you ever tried a snowball made with cream soda instead of lemonade? If you can over the advocaat bit (not everyone's kettle of spanners) it is rather nice. It tastes like liquid cornish ice cream. One part advocaat to about 5 parts cream soda and whip with a fork as you pour the soda in. Lovely.
ReplyDelete