Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Thank You For The Music

ABBA Gold is playing on the CD player. This is a new development.

"There are some more CDs in that top drawer over there."

I take a look.

ABBA, Simon Webbe, Take That, Will Young, The Carpenters...
Middle aged women's music. I don't mind so much. I'm partial to ABBA and The Carpenters.

Could be worse. Could be a lot worse.

Could be...

Coldplay, Keane, The Feeling, The Kooks, Athlete...
All that indie shit.
Whatever "indie" means nowadays.
Independent of what exactly?
Independent of life?

Or it could be...

Jack Johnson, Paolo Nutini, James Morrison, James Blunt, Corinne Bailey Rae...
All that new singer/songwriter shit.
Tasteful, soulless bollocks.

But there's only one more Top of the Pops. I need TOTP. I don't want to get out of touch. I don't want to be one of those middle-aged men who doesn't know what young people are listening to. I don't want to be hard at work as in the background the new number one is on the radio and I don't recognise it.

I don't want to sit there with nothing to annoy me. I want James Morrison to really get on my tits. I want to feel something nasty bubbling up through these damn tranquilisers.

I don't want to end up in an old people's home with Robbie Williams playing on a loop and sit there not minding. Just sit there through Robbie Williams album after Robbie Williams album and not putting up a bloody good fight but accepting this is the way it is until my eventual happy release.


  1. It could get worse. Robbie Williams might be your roommate at the home.

  2. Robbie!
    I remember a few years back when somebody offered ABBA $1Billion to go on a 100 concert tour. Apparently there are still enough issues lingering between the Schveedes to have declined or perhaps they don't want to mess with the whole time/space continuum thingy. Thank Gawd!

    I am unconvinced that rehashing the supergoups for all of the Baby Boomers to drag their teenage kids to see what REAL music was like quite captures the creative musical zenith of 60s and 70s Rock/Folk/Pop/Head/Reggae/Disco/
    Soul/Funk etc.....

    The Who are comin' to town and I told a friend that I want to retain my image of Moon trashing his kit and Townsend destroying his git. How could Roger still hope to belt out Love Reign O'er Me?

    Hope I die before I get Old...remember that one....

  3. In 1975 Mick Jagger said, "I'd rather be dead than sing Satisfaction when I'm 45."

  4. I've tried and failed to like the Carpenters. Abba are okay though, I like their chord changes.

    As for Robbie, he'd be loads better if someone else did all the songs for him because they're all just about him and that gets boring after a while.

  5. Coldplay, Keane, The Feeling, The Kooks, Athlete...

    A bloke I once went out with called this sort of shite 'girlfriend music'.

  6. Geoff, honestly you don't need to stay in touch. All you do is listen to a teenager's music then you go and rifle through your record collection and give the buggers a copy of the original. Yes sonny, that was actually written in 1964 when swearing was still a bit rebellious but the teenage poets back then knew how shock without being shocking. I see there's yet another band from down under sounding exactly like Zep, 20 years after the Wonderstuff got told off for sounding too much like them. Now, is that progress?

  7. Music that girlfriends like?

    Or music that if you say you like it you might have a chance of getting a girlfriend?

    No, I don't believe it's just for girls. I'm sure there are as many cloth-eared boy students as girl students.

    I don't want Robbie in the home with me, all the nurses taking the piss out of his tattoos...

    "Were you a sailor, Mr Williams? Which war were you in?"

  8. We're recording the Galaxy Chart at this very moment. It's the only chart show we could find which isn't voted for by the viewers (I think) and isn't just a single genre of music (I think).

    Presented by Jo Good, whoever she is.

  9. Now Buck up Geoff - think what mj said about Mick Jagger - the sad (rich) git.
    At least you avoided that.
    Get back to basics with Blues, Beatles and something else beginning with B that I can't think of.

  10. The Galaxy Chart Show's a Dance Chart. Which is fine but it seems they only play about half of each track.

    I've got my blues, Beatles and Bee Gees, Kaz but I want to keep up with the pops, too.

    Do not go gentle into that good night,
    Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    I want to burn and rave at close of day, in a field of like-minded old gits, waving our fluorescent bollocks at the moon. Even Robbie's welcome as they've just said on The Galaxy Chart that he's going to release a dance album and it's gonna be great!

  11. I think you've frightened them all away with your flourescent bollocks.

  12. Just remember to pack a hammer (to destroy the loop tape machine) and an Ipod loaded with stuff you like (to plug into the PA system after you've destroyed the loop tape). But pack it all NOW, before your memory turns to putty.

    Come to think of it, I'd write out some simple instructions too, so that when you come across the hammer and the Ipod you'll know what to do with them. Even if you can't figure out why, because by then your brain will have turned to putty and possibly Robbie Williams will sound rather toe-tappingly tunefully GOOD.

    Jist feedin' yer next nightmayre, boy...

  13. Alternatively, you could invest in some petrol and semtex and bomb the record companies NOW. Then no-one would ever have to listen to Cold Play again.