Friday, March 30, 2007

Perchance To Dream

I'm dreaming of fish 'n' chips. I don't like fish 'n' chips. The smell is making me feel sick.

I wake up. Not fully awake so my drug addled mind (um, low dose tranquilisers) is not thinking logically, I've got this great idea for a sketch. It's so funny, in my half awake state, I'm almost laughing in bed at 6 a.m.

Morrissey is back in Manchester. He gets on a bus. At the back sits an old friend.

Old Friend: Morrissey! What brings you round these parts?

Morrissey: I've been promoting my new range of chilled ready meals, mate. Sausage & mash. Meat & potato pie. Fish 'n' chips.

Old Friend: Ooh, I love fish 'n' chips.

Morrissey: Me too, mate. They're me favourites. You'd love my fish 'n' chips. A moist, succulent loin of cod, fancifully fried in a light, golden batter; crisp, chunky chips drizzled with balsamic vinegar; all served with a generous side portion of mushy peas. Pucker, mate. Bloody pucker.

Old Friend: Ain't it hard to get hold of cod nowadays, though?

Morrissey: Murder, mate. Bloody murder.



The alarm goes off and jerks me out of my reverie. The working day starts here and heaven knows I'm miserable now.

9 comments:

  1. Are you SURE they are just "mild tranqilisers" Geoff?

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  2. Thanks for the chuckle geoff.

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  3. Murph - That's what it says on the tin.

    Dick - You're welcome.

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  4. I knew he wasn't 'one of us' any more.
    But 'Balsamic Vinegar?'
    Puleeese.

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  5. You would never have heard 'balsamic vinegar' in one of the old Smiths songs.

    'Sarson's', maybe.

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  6. I can't imagine the Moz promoting sausage and mash.

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  7. I bet he's a secret sausage scoffer.

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  8. Someone offered me some of those "mild tranquilisers" round the back of the Bay Horse the other day. Tranquilisers? One of those and I was partying for 2 days solid!

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  9. Try mine and you'll be asleep for 2 days solid.

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