I'm not really much of a fan of modern horror films but Eden Lake seemed like it might be a laugh. And it was.
A middle class twat and his trusting teacher girlfriend go off in his gas guzzling Land Rover to experience nature in the middle of a forest in the English Midlands. Sat nav gets them there, his wanky macho scuba equipment and all.
Little do they know that the local village is home to nasty wonderfully stereotypical nightmare working class scum whose children are rampaging feral youths led by an absolute psychopath.
This is modern Britain, exactly why we're afraid to leave the sanctuary of our homes and cars.
Watching the first of BBC's new Tess of the D'Urbervilles production I swore blind that the villain Alec D'Urberville was too young and too clean shaven. He should be 42 years old, evil-looking, with a moustache, I thought.
I studied the book for A-level all those years ago. I remember reading it in a park in Shanklin, Isle of Wight, with my top off in the sun, hoping to draw admiring glances at my physique and intellect. None were forthcoming, of course.
A little internet research tells me that Alec was 24. Presumably not moustachioed, either.
I don't trust my memory.
1 hour ago