Sunday, June 28, 2009

My Tiny Carbon Footprint

No, your eyes do not deceive you, we are still at home.

I woke up at three o'clock on Saturday morning and immediately had a panic attack. It's not the first time. They usually occur when I'm away from home and have had a stressful day's driving. This time it was the night before. I still don't feel right now.

So bollocks to Wales. Last time we were there I nearly killed ourselves and the people in the other car. I'm not a reckless driver but I do sometimes lose concentration when I get tired. Which is every afternoon thanks to this bloody medication I'm on.

Anyway, I'll stop whingeing and make a list of nice places I will take my lovely car in future.

1. ASDA.
2. Sainsbury's/Homebase.
3. My mum's.
4. Bluewater, if they ever show a decent film ever again.
5. Ebbsfleet International Train Station for those exotic foreign holidays.
6. The council tip.
7. The petrol station.
8. The place where they service the car.

If it wasn't for the car I don't know how I'd survive.


  1. ASDA = lovely? Are you sure?

    Word verification: trific. Another thing ASDA ain't.

    Nice blog! Hope you feel better.

  2. Don't forget the Library.
    You can commiserate with that helpful librarian.

  3. Try my stay-at-home Glastonbury experience by making a lean-to toilet in the back lawn and staying awake all night with Dai Rea. (Chris's Welsh cousin since you ask!)

  4. Wales is over-rated anyway. Have you considered a tandem?

  5. Mr London Street - ASDA is very calming. My nerves are a bit better today, thank you.

    Kaz - The library's a ten minute walk away. Shall I cheer her up next week?

    Rog - I like to wave my Cornish flag in front of the screen so Betty can't see her favourites like Tom Jones and Frankie Vaughan.

  6. Ziggi - Can you get a bicycle with a sidecar?

  7. Holy mackerel, if ASDA is calming to you where exactly do you live? Basra?

  8. I'm beginning to worry about the rather reclusive tendencies that you and Betts are beginning to develop. Maybe over a period of time you could slowly add places to your list. Possibly try a different supermarket occasionally, or take a short drive out to somewhere nice and see if you can go into a cafe for a cup of tea or something like that.

  9. Remember to write about all these places in your autobiography... and anyhow, it'll probably be raining in Wales... and the sheep will be all soggy.

  10. Mr London Street - It is an oasis.

    Tom - There's nowhere nice within a short drive. I'd rather sit in the back garden.

    Scarlet - It is raining in Wales. We're in the best place in Britain for the weather. There's nothing worse than a soggy sheep with mournful eyes.

  11. I too subscribe to the Wonder of Asda movement. It used to be my priviledge to visit Asda's professionally. Any organisation that coins the phrase 'retailtainment' for the 'shopping experience', and then throws you out of the store for being retailtained deserves a lot of respect.

  12. Retailtainment is the name of the game.

  13. So it's National Express for you two, then.
    That was funny (at first) (to me)but I'm not sure. Should I delete?

  14. What about a nice coach tour with stops every half an hour for the incontinent?

    Day trips by train are more suitable, I think. Tomorrow we go to Brighton!