Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Life Of Brian

After nearly five years of this I'm a little lost for things to say. I think it's time I set myself a little project to get me going again.

So, for the forseeable future, I will dedicate this blog to my life story. Starting right from when I was a cute little tot. How does that grab you?

They say everybody's got a story to tell and this will be mine. You will laugh, you will cry.

No, bollocks will you cry.

You'll laugh.

Not with me.

At me.


  1. Could you please illustrate it using your childhood photos?

    Those never get old.

    Ha! Geddit?

  2. No, no, stopppittt, my sides are splitting.

  3. I can't wait!
    I have 6 weeks of doing nothing ahead but I can't make any sudden movements and laughing may hurt so please post a warning before the funny bits so I can assume a 'laughing without pain' position, thanks.

  4. Life contains mild peril. Don't veer into Dave Pelzer territory though Geoff.

  5. This'll be skillish and I have just finished my book so RESULT!

  6. MJ - You've seen all my photos. I've lost the element of surprise there. Little Geoffrey will never get old.

    Vicus - You'll see. You'll be crying, literally crying.

    Ziggi - I should be finished within six weeks. It's a life of little consequence.

    Rog - I'll hopefully win The Pelzer Prize. My mum poisoned me with her shepherd's pie, you know.

    Inwardly Confused - This will be about 20 pages worth and take weeks to write. You have my permission to start another book.

  7. Geoff - I did my life in one post!
    So I'll expect the disclosure of sordid intimate details and penetrating discosures of life in the deep South.

  8. This is going to rival Eastenders, isn't it?

  9. I have found that twitter has sucked all the former pithy observational posts out of me.

    I'm thinking of new ideas too.

  10. Kaz - I don't know the meaning of the word "sordid".

    Scarlet - The characters will be more believable and have more hair.

    Billy - I've expanded my Twitter comments a few times but it's getting more difficult.

  11. I'm looking forward to disclosures about when you first discovered your navel, when you discovered your Dad could be wrong, that the Cubs were crypto-Fascists, when you first fell off your bike, etc. No laughing matters.

  12. Well it is called a Web LOG so that is prolly what we're all supposed to be doing out here innit?

    I think that this will be very therapeutic for you and after publically sweeping all of the lint and demons out of your closet, the next logical step is to sign up for a sparkling new Facebook page!! :)

    according to the tall foreheads at Psychology Today Magazine, having more than 300 Facebook Friends makes you look needy.

  13. Christopher - I never fell off my bike! I had a tricycle 'til I was 32.

    Donn - I will reveal some of the names so they can find me on here.

  14. Matey, I took a break for 2 years from this because I was writing shite. So don't fret if you doubt your wit. For what it's worth, as I return to blogs after a long time, you're pretty on the mark e.g. yes, John O'Farrell, crock o'shite.

    Life story? a) their right, above, avoid the Pelzer Path. b) apparently, a lot of fiction is autobiographical - but then so is a shopping list.

    Shall I just fuck off now?

  15. Don't go, Krusty. Good to see you again.

    I'll steer clear of writing fiction as my dialogue is trite.