Tuesday, July 01, 2008

The 1970s That Never Went Away

My mum has recently started a diary. So has my stepdad. They're to remind them of what they've done in case they forget. They haven't got blogs, though. My mum's glad I've got a hobby but a little concerned about what sort of people I may be mixing with. "They could be swingers, or anything," she's said.

Of course you can never tell who's up to what. I was once in a pub with a young man from work, his father, and his father's male friend. We were all peckish so one of them suggested we go for a meal. On the way to the restaurant, I was asked "Are you sure you want to do this? You know what this is about, don't you? It's not just a meal, you know." I graciously made my excuses and had a bean burger at Burger King.

So how would you react if you had heard that someone you know may be, say, a swinger? Just supposing, of course. I'm not saying that I'm in a similar situation at the moment. Oh no, far from it. How would you act in their presence?

Would you...

a) Whistle the tune to the Jungle Book song King of the Swingers?

b) Whisper in their ear, "Come on, big boy, show us your car keys"?

c) Continue to act as if you know nothing, trying but failing not to imagine exactly what goes on?


  1. Meeting the former Mrs Triffid after work once, we got talking to an acquaintance from work and his girlfriend, and had a pleasant night down the pub. At the end he suggested we join them at his flat for "sport".

    I had no idea what he was talking about - I thought he must have a ping-pong table - until I felt a stinging kick in the shin under the table from the missus.

    We made our excuses, etc.

  2. 'My mum's glad I've got a hobby but a little concerned about what sort of people I may be mixing with' ....... so she's heard about mj then.?

  3. Wyndham - When the penny dropped the heat coming off my face could have warmed a room.

    Kaz - Of course she's heard about MJ. And you. To her you're two nice ladies who like Coronation Street and pots of tea.

  4. Nope, people don't invite me to stuff.

    Though several years ago I heard that the posh and v glam mother of the two sisters I'd been friends with as a teenager was, er, not altogether as happily married as she'd first appeared.

    Both mother and daughter had apparently *enjoyed* themselves at a party. I heard this from the bloke who'd *enjoyed* the daughter:

    "I wouldn't recognise that girl from the front."

  5. Arabella3:47 AM

    Is "going for a meal" code for a bit of the other, then, these days?
    If ever I come home to live, I won't have a clue.

  6. Coronation Street and pots of tea?

    I DO, in fact!

    I can't speak for Kaz though.

    *casts dubious look toward Kaz*

  7. You know me better than that .. Delete pots and tea - replace with glasses and Sauvignon.

  8. Spin - Mother/daughter, father/son. Who are the initiators?

    Arabella - I think the meal was still on. It was the afters I was concerned about.

    MJ - You'll turn into a teapot, the amount you drink.

    Kaz - It's OK, Vernon's left now.

  9. Start singing "Let It All Hang Out" by The Hombres?

  10. As long as he doesn't start showing me pictures of his missus.

  11. On a crowded bus once, the guy next to me said "I killed my wife". It turned out he'd committed manslaughter. He wasn't boasting, it was more like a penance. Interesting and normal conversation ensued. Odd experience though.

  12. That's an ice breaker!

  13. Geoff, what have you done with Betty?

  14. I think Betty's run off with some swingers that she and Geoff met on holiday.

    Who'd have thought it?

  15. Annie - She's come down bad with that blogging ennui. Real bad.

    Spin - Swinging never took off in some parts of Cornwall. The locals seem to prefer Neighbourhood Watch.

  16. When I was a teenager I remember my parents and their friends making lots of jokes about car keys .... at least, I always assumed they were joking...

  17. My parents didn't have any friends but if they had, who'd want to go in a leaking VW Beetle?