Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Colin Hunt Tie

I went to a leaving do on Monday. A bit of tomato fell out of my sandwich onto my tie. It left a stain.

As my only other tie was creased I decided to buy some new ones. Imagine my delight when I found out that Tie Rack were having a 75% off sale.

So yesterday morning I changed into one of the new ties, a delightful blue one with little yellow flowers.

When I got home and started my usual moaning to Betty about my day, her eyes began to laugh as she kept looking down my front.

"Is there something funny?" I said.

"It's your tie," she said. "It's a bit...Colin Hunt."

"It wasn't Colin Hunt in the shop," I said.

"Maybe it's with that shirt. It's not necessarily a Colin Hunt tie of its own accord. It's just in combination with that shirt."

That shirt is a rather fetching blue.

"The tie just seems to stand out, like the design is three dimensional."

I took the tie off in a fit of pique and took the other new ties out of the bag. I held them up to my shirt, one by one.

"Is this tie Colin Hunt?"


"Is this one?"


"Is this tie Colin Hunt."

"A bit. But only with that shirt. Probably."

"So I've bought two Colin Hunt ties!"

You see how touchy I can be! Betty was only saying that one of my ties looked Colin Hunt with that particular shirt and that another tie looked a bit Colin Hunt with the same shirt. With a nice white shirt, both ties would look fine and dandy. But I wouldn't let it lie. All night I went on and on about my Colin Hunt ties. I'm sorry, Betty.

I'm wearing the slightly Colin Hunt tie today with a white shirt. I look like a dashing Member of Parliament.


  1. That would be Colin Hunt M.P.

  2. I spilt balsamic vinegar over the front of my shirt yesterday. I felt like a big middle-class prat.

    Coincidentally, my first job was in a Tie Rack. I got told off for offering to gift wrap black ties. People only really buy cheap black ties for one kind of event.

  3. This is why I hate ties.

  4. Look on the bright side Geoff, they could be Mike Hunt ties.

  5. Vicus - Would that be the Berkshire Hunt?

    Boz - I suppose at least with a tie it does protect your shirt from most food stains. My black tie is navy blue. I think that was from Tie Rack, too.

    Billy - I've spent 36 years wearing the bloody things and I've never had one that suits me.

    Tom - The elusive Mike Hunt!

  6. Ties?
    Stop moaning.
    Suppose you had to colour coordinate your top, skirt/trousers, jacket, tights, jewellery, belt, underwear etc.
    OK - I possibly exaggerated about the underwear - but I'm talking about being a working woman.

  7. 75% off - they'll be next for the high street suicide chop then.

    Erm...exactly how big were the 3D yellow flowers on that blue tie Colin?I mean Geoff. And was it a textured tie or a flat shiny tie? Apologies for asking - I'm not really sure why I am. Did you get matching comedy socks too? I do hope not.

  8. I have a problem with "yogurt" stains.

  9. If you are looking for really nice and stylish ties I really like Agnes B. Just a thought.

    Oh dear. Gok Wan's job is quite safe, isn't it?

    (Scuttles off to be gay on some other part of the internets)

  10. The only time I'd visit a Tie Rack shop is their branch in Picadilly Circus - it was the only one that sold black slim jim ties.
    You should've gone there Colin...I mean Geoff.

  11. Kaz - You don't understand, do you? You don't understand what it's like to have man-flu and you don't understand the mental torment involved in choosing a tie.

    Romo - I don't want to say any more about the tie. It only cost me £2.49 for Christ's sake! I hate comedy socks more than comedy ties.

    MJ - Those cartons are lethal, aren't they?

    Boz - The trouble is, you can't make a silk purse (or a silk tie)out of a sow's ear.

    Istvanski - I don't wanna look like an ageing rocker!

  12. In honour of Tony Hart, I have taken to wearing a natty cravat.

  13. That's more like it!

  14. Ah but once you learn the fashion basics, you can look debonair every single day Geoff! And as Kaz says, you chaps have far less clashes/wardrobe malfunctions to worry about than we ladies!

  15. Me and debonair don't really mix. Not that I'm scruffy, mind.