Sunday, January 04, 2009

A Message From The BBC

In these financially testing times it is with great sadness, yet much hope, that we, the BBC, announce the amalgamation of two of the corporation's flagship shows.

It was a difficult decision to make but Jools and Jo are ready for a new challenge after 35 years solid service to the nation.

Doctor Who and Later With Jools are to be replaced by a brand new show, Doctor Hootenanny. Jools Holland will play the Doctor with Jo Wiley as his trusty assistant, Jo. Jo has indicated her commitment to the new role by vowing not to get pregnant for the next ten years.

We are hoping this show will be a great success as it will be a mixture of Jools' tried, trusted and popular boogie woogie "I'm In The Mood For Love" cod reggae sound and frightening images such as The Hucknall, The Lennox, The Sting and The Paul Rodgers With Queen acting as if time has not ravaged their once fresh faces and bodies. It will be a real family show, entertaining Middle England's middle aged parents and young children alike.

TV license payers will hopefully be pleased to hear that Jools will not only be playing The Doctor but will also be providing the voices for the daleks for a merely nominal fee.


  1. ...and everybody in the audience will unequivocally love every song by every act, demonstrating this by engaging in some furious head-bobbing in time to the music whenever they know they camera's pointing at them.

  2. I hoped that The Hucknall, The Lennox, The Sting, The Paul Rodgers and Queen were going to play the monsters.
    Just think how much auntie would save on the make up.

  3. I am reminded of Jool's Squeeze tune..
    "I feel like I'm on the wrong side of the moon."

    It would be much easier to just make Dr Who into CSI/Universe.

  4. Sky - The daleks will exterminate them.

    Kaz - They are the monsters! The daleks will exterminate them!

    Donn - Chris Difford was on Hootenanny. Not to perform, just to show his face which wasn't bitter about Jools' wealth. Oh no, not at all.

  5. Oh, maybe they'll all fly off and get lost in space?

  6. I thought Martha Reeves's performance at the most recent Hootenanny was more terrifying that anything Dr Who offered us last year.

  7. Al Murray should be the first person to be exterminated seeing as he was SO incredibly shit and un-funny on Shitenanny. (I think I have woken up in a bad mood - coffee beckons).


    When Jools introduced Elbow I couldn't tell which was which.

  9. I'm glad I stayed up and watched because now I know who Duffy is, and the one with the black hair and fringe, and the really boring one that went on and on and on

    and on

    I think I'll go out next year actually

  10. Scarlet - Ground control to Major Tom.

    Tim - Chicken in a basket tv. We had to fast forward.

    Romo - Lenny Henry found him hilarious. Says it all, really.

    Murph - You're making it sound better than it was!

    Ziggi - I was looking forward to Dave Edmunds and the bloody big band drowned him out and Jools made him wear a Noddy Holder wig!

  11. I know - it was awful. I can't believe people would willingly be that stupid.

  12. Me, for watching it?...I know!