Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A Dose Of Reality

Jade Goody's funeral, on April 4th, will be a "Jade Goody production", according to her publicist, Max Clifford.

Large television screens are to be installed outside her local church for the thousands of members of the public likely to turn up.

The funeral will not, however, be broadcast live on Channel 4. Davina McCall will not whip up the crowd into a frenzy of tears. Attendees will not hold up signs saying "Hello Mum" or "Living The Dream".

It will be a dignified affair. Big Brother obsessives have grown up a lot over the last few months. They now know it's no good living the dream if the dream ends up as a nightmare. Look at Chantelle, falling in love with gorgeous posh Preston, ending up with that little London runt Jermaine.

Life is shit for almost everybody and fame doesn't change that. Reality has kicked in for the reality massive. They will never again be able to watch a young woman on Big Brother without thinking of the future consequences. They will never want to get too attached to strangers ever again. If you hurt when a stranger hurts just how much are you going to hurt when someone close to you hurts?

Britain has grown up.

14 comments:

  1. I can't comment as I've only seen pics of her in Heat magazine.

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  2. Britain has grown bored... and skint..
    Sx

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  3. "The funeral will not, however, be broadcast live on Channel 4. Davina McCall will not whip up the crowd into a frenzy of tears. Attendees will not hold up signs saying "Hello Mum" or "Living The Dream""

    I am disappointed at this.

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  4. Apparently Britain is in mourning for "our best-loved celebrity".

    I'm emigrating.

    To the moon.

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  5. 'Britain has grown up'.
    I hope you're right Geoff - but it seems to me that we've been looking for another 'peoples' princess' for the last 10 years
    So I think we'll be looking for another Jade now.

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  6. I had to admire the Orwellian rewriting of history involved in the Sun's headline of "Jade - At Peace at Last" given that they tried to whip up a frenzy of public vitriol against her when she was first on our TV screens. Their current syrupy condolences jar with their original "Vote Out The Pig" stance of a few years ago.

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  7. MJ - You've really got to see tv footage of her speaking to get the full Jade effect. Try searching for "Shilpa Poppadom Youtube".

    Scarlet - It's like Diana all over again. You can't avoid it.

    Billy - They shouldn't have a vicar, they should have that Geordie bloke doing a voiceover.

    Rol - It can't be as bad as that Diana nonsense. Can it?

    Kaz - It's alright, I wasn't being serious. A new princess? What about an Austin Princess? A clapped out old banger.

    Doris - The Sun has no conscience whatsover. Whatever sells copies goes.

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  8. I presume there will be a floral arrangement spelling out the word 'MONEY'? Sorry, 'MUMMY'? I don't mind morons getting vicarious enjoyment from this vile shit, as long as nobody gets offended by my pointing out that it's vile shit, and that they're morons. In fact, I don't care if anyone gets offended, they're only morons.

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  9. *watches a couple of JG clips*

    Egad.

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  10. Tim - I say the same as I did about the Diana farce when asked, "Isn't it sad?" "No, it's sick. These people are ill."

    MJ - "Dear, sweet Jade." copyright Stephen Fry.

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  11. "Look at Chantelle, falling in love with gorgeous posh Preston, ending up with that little London runt Jermaine."

    But will it last?

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  12. That relationship is built to last. Rock solid.

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  13. Does it mean that Big Brother programs will no longer be made? Oh. Right, then. I'm with Tim.

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  14. It would be nice for Max Clifford to say "OK, history has been made, now we must move on and BLOODY GROW UP!"

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