Monday, April 20, 2009

Britain's Got Shite

Britain's Got Talent makes stars of ordinary people.

A person who is talented at something possesses an unusual innate ability in their field.

Enrico Caruso was a talented opera singer. Paul Potts isn't.

Gene Kelly was a talented dancer. George Sampson isn't.

Judy Garland was a talented singer of songs from musicals. Susan Boyle isn't.

John Coltrane was a talented saxophonist. Julian Smith isn't.

Both George Best and Vinny Jones could play football. George was talented. Vinny wasn't.

Britain's got a load of Vinny Joneses all being told they're George Best. And the British public are happier watching Vinny Jones than George Best!

That's just not right.


  1. This is the kind of eloquent and intelligent interpretation that is sadly lacking in the pages of the chattering class press.

    Now you start off and I'll join in on the chorus.

  2. Yours is the voice in the wilderness. Feel free to add my screams.
    And now someone, please, make the whole mediocrity shit shower disappear.

  3. But how did Judy Garland get discovered?

  4. I have an innate ability to find pics of fat, hairy, nekkid old men.

    When will I get MY star on the Walk of Fame?

  5. We haven't come on as a civilisation if we're still watching "New Faces" on a Saturday evening.

  6. Kaz - Garland was signed to a studio in 1935 when she was about thirteen, I think. By that time she'd been working professionally for at least ten years in theatres and had already had some film training. She wasn't discovered so much as put on the professional round of constant auditioning by a mother who was already in the trade; a move to CA put her in the best environment to work and break into film.
    By the time she was hired by a studio, and before she was out of her teens, I doubt there was much anyone could teach her vocally. Everything after that, her range and the blossoming of her acting range too, was natural growth, I reckon.
    Oh well, that's my tuppence-worth.

  7. Boz - Simon Cowell has got them all in his very deep pockets.

    Arabella - The latest one they're raving about is a stage school boy with shit taste in music. As opposed to the music teacher with shit taste in music and the church volunteer with shit taste in music.

    Kaz - Was it Hughie Green?

    MJ - You are truly talented in your field.

    Rog - I'm still waiting for the new Lenny Henry.

    Arabella - If those people can cry at Susan Boyle singing a shite song, how on earth would they react to Judy singing a classic?

  8. Susan Boyle is lucky she doesn't look like Angelina Jolie. People would really hate her.

  9. They'd probably realise just what an ordinary voice she's got.


  11. It's not over 'til the fat bloke does a dance.

  12. I say let the bastards lower the bloody bar right down to the ground..
    that way we can all be famous and fabulous!

  13. The bar can't get any lower!

  14. That's why I call myself the 'aristoracy of the mediocracy' - in order to play it safe when overnight success finally comes!

    But you are quite right about the quality-slump in talent Geoff. Or perhaps most people are too drunk or drugged up to notice these days.

  15. I couldn't get drunk enough to watch Britain's Got Talent.