I'm busy. So I'm going to cut the crap. Or should that be cut to the crap?
Over the holidays...
King Kong - Fay Wray beautiful. Kong ugly but good, strong teeth.
Corrie - Goths Rosie and Craig have underage sex. Rosie's dad Kevin furious (jealous that he never had sex till he was 27 even though he grew a moustache at 13).
Bleak House - Hi-tech and addictive, but still soppy enough to be Dickens. Some great performances, the pick of which by Johnny Vegas's cat who I'll be voting for as Animal Actor of the Year at the BAFTAS.
Yuri Norstein Animations - Wonderful adaptations of Russian Folk Tales. Great pipe-smoking, knife-toting rooster.
Jools Holland's Hootenanny - Annual knees-up for Jools and his middle-aged chums: unfunny 1980s comedians. A pissed Adrian Edmondson jamming with the Kaiser Chiefs: middle-class twit of the year.
James Last at the Royal Albert Hall from 1977 - Not only can this soulless white audience not dance, they can't even bleeding conga.
The Death of the British Sitcom - Daffy old Carla Lane complains about being dropped by the BBC. Says "The Office is for 15 year olds". Daffy, daffy, daffy old woman living in the 1970s.
Henri Rousseau at the Tate Modern - Colonial old fool but still a genius. It takes genius to make a lion look ugly.
We Listened to
Woman Next Door - She's contacted the police about our noisy neighbour. Oh dear.
"Contains Mild Peril" - On adverts for that film about the penguins that the American Christian Right think is a moral story of family values.