Sunday, May 14, 2006

One Last Post About Football

Of course everything looks better in the morning and I can draw comfort from my supposition that it's not just me who had a miserable night but also fellow Hammers fans Noel Edmonds and Russell Brand.

That's enough about football, folks. But before I go, just a couple of gripes I have about the current language of football on tv.

1. A player is never his exact age. A 21 year old is described as "21, 22". A 24 year old is "24, 25." Even one of yesterday's heroes, born-leader and future England captain, Nigel Reo-Coker couldn't describe his own age. I don't wish to be known as "44, 45", thank you very much.

2. Pundits and managers can never say the truth about the Premiership. They always say "the top 4 or 5 clubs", trying to infer that it's a slightly more level playing-field than it is. EVERYBODY knows it's the top FOUR clubs. Chelsea, Man U, Liverpool, Arsenal, and that one of these FOUR clubs will win the League or the Cup. That's the FOUR richest clubs, right?*

Tomorrow I'm going to stroll into work at 9.45 a.m. and explain that I start work at 9, 10 o'clock.

* Quote from the actor John Simm in UNCUT Magazine:-

"PET HATE - I'm beginning to really hate Chelsea Football Club because I just hate the fact that they've bought all their success. It really annoys me. We (Liverpool) are nearly catching them up, and I hope we do. It's just so annoying because they're going to go out and buy more of the best players in the world and buy people out of their contracts. I just hate the marketing of it all. It's just horrible. I'm not being bitter or twisted, but it's ruined the Premiership."

Piss off, John. You spoilt brat.


  1. Oh Geoff, you gave the impression there wouldn't be any sour grapes.

    Notwithstanding the fact that nearly all clubs have done similar, he's right. Chelski have done much it more than the others. Is there a single local lad playing for them who's come up through their youth system?

  2. Sorry about the sour grapes, Richard. I just thought that maybe this would be the year that the top 4's stranglehold on the F.A Cup would break. Just for one year.

    I'm glad that Chelsea don't snap up all the good London boys. I don't know where we'd be now without the money earned from the sale of Cole, Lampard, Johnson and Ferdinand.

    Didn't John Terry and Carlton Cole come through the Chelsea youth system?

    Just found out that although we've got Noel, Russell and Leslie Grantham, ALFRED HITCHCOCK was a Hammer. That's made my day.

  3. And Alf Garnett.

    Back to Mr Simm. Nothing "ruined the Premiership". The Premiership ruined everything else. The rot started there.

    Incidentally, now that Accy Stanley are back in the League, does anybody else harbour a secret wish that they'll play in knee-length shorts and non-metatarsal-risking hobnailed boots?

  4. The Premiership and the running joke that is The Champions' League (I thought you had to win something to be a champion).

    Good to see Accrington back. I remember the cup final of 1754 like it was yesterday.

    Altogether now, lads:

    We love you, Stanley, we do
    Stanley, we do
    Stanley, we do
    Oh, Stanley we love you.

  5. John Terry did. Which is one, at least.

    Don't you think the Champions League is just the European Super League in waiting? And yes, it'd probably start with four British clubs in it.

    Then they could rebrand the Premiership as the First Division again. Domestically, it'd be just like old times, but without four clubs.

  6. I can't wait for the European Super League. Except the Premiership will not be called the First Division but the Super Premiership. The Championship will be called the Premiership. The First Division will be called The Championship. The Second Division will be called The First Division. And Accrington Stanley will be called Accrington Joshua.