Friday, May 05, 2006

Truly Madly Annoying

This week we've attempted to watch a couple of expensively made American films. Films we wouldn't normally watch.

First up was The Matrix, apparently the only one of the trilogy worth watching.

Two things I can't stand in films:-
1. An unrealistic rooftop chase (unless it's done in an arty way)
2. Men in dark suits and dark glasses (this rubbish started with the godawful Blues Brothers, continued with the bleeding Men in Black and now we have these twits in The Matrix).

So, The Matrix: We lasted ten wasted minutes.


We didn't, however, give up on Solaris starring George (down, girls) Clooney.
Solaris - basically a love story between a man and the ghost of his dead wife, basically then a better looking version of those nauseous old tear jerkers Ghost and Truly Madly Deeply. Basically an excuse to show off George Clooney's tight arse and well-defined back and shoulders.

Yuck.

Come on, America. You can do better than that.


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The HM Revenue & Customs' April Employer Bulletin is out! Hurray!

Look at these gems...


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"Subject to Parliamentary approval the current age limits of 16 and 65 on entitlement to Statutory Payments will be removed from 1 October 2006.

From this date all employees with average earnings at or above the Lower Earnings Limit (LEL), (currently £84 per week), who are:-

aged under 16 or 65 and older, will be eligible for SSP

aged under 16 will be eligible for SMP and SPP."


So not only do they want us to work from the cradle to the grave, they want us dropping sprogs as soon as we reach puberty.

Well, Mr Brown, you can stick your work and family ethics right up your tight arse, my son.


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And news that although the Home Computer Initiative has been scrapped, computers provided to employees by employers are not affected by the change...

"Where an employer provides employees with a computer for the sole purpose of enabling the employee to perform the duties of his or her employment no tax will be due as long as any private use made of the computer is insignificant."

So this means you lucky bloggers who work from home can breathe easily because all those blogging hours you put in are INSIGNIFICANT. You won't get taxed because this blogging lark is INSIGNIFICANT.

OK?

11 comments:

  1. Geoff, old love, all those crap movies are making you cross.
    Watch something gentle and uplifting, and you will feel better.

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  2. I've just noticed I've said that both Gordon Brown and George Clooney have tight arses.

    Maybe they could swap jobs. Or swap arses.

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  3. This could be a possibility because arse tightness may be included in the next mini budget as a taxable element.

    Geoff, you really must try harder. Men in Black and the Blues Brothers are good films because they made me laugh. The Matrix is incomprehensible wank (taxable), I'll give you that one.

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  4. Incomprehensible wank?

    No wonder I only lasted 5 minutes.

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  5. George Clooney's arse turns 45 today. As does the rest of him.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That was the year to be born.

    I bet I was a more beautiful baby.

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  7. Month and date please, Geoff. I hope we haven't missed the big day.

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  8. 13th December 1961. It was a Wednesday. Wednesday's child is full of woe.

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  9. At least you have sufficient brainpower to understand all that LEL SMP SPP twaddle. Me, I just glaze over when they talk dirty like that.

    I lasted about 15 minutes of the Matrix when I first tried, but only because I was researching the 'look' of the thing (a bit green) in the hope of stealing the style for some corporate video or other. Have studiously avoided it ever since.

    However, I'm a sucker for ghostlove stories.

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  10. December 13. Geoff's birthday.
    *marks calendar and starts planning large-scale blog celebration*

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  11. I don't understand it all, Mark. And I bet Gordon Brown hasn't the foggiest.

    A virtual party sounds ideal to me, MJ. as long as I don't have to circulate.

    ReplyDelete