Thursday, October 05, 2006

Where Do You Fit In?

I can tell by the response to my and Betty's recent posts that British bloggers are happier slagging off so-called "chavs" for being "chavs" than the middle classes for being obnoxious cunts. Understandable, as British society is extremely divided and we all know where we feel most comfortable.

I know British bloggers are viewed from the outside as almost exclusively white middle class Green Wing watchers, but how do we, the bloggers ourselves, see ourselves?

The following is a list of class categories drawn up by Professor Adrian Plum of the University of Life, East Grinstead, West Sussex. Where do you fit in?

1. Upper class toff
2. Upper class scum
3. Middle class professional
4. Middle class snob
5. Middle class wanker
6. Middle class scum
7. Working class hero
8. Working class diamond
9. Working class scrubber
10. Working class scum
11. Chav scum

I see myself as a former working class hero. However, like John Lennon I have risen from the ranks of the hard-working working classes to become a pithy commentator on society. A middle class wanker, in other words.

Furthermore, I have learnt this week that as I work in the field of accountancy, often having to deal with some very pleasant people who happen to be accountants, I am even more of a wanker than I thought I was.


  1. Anonymous9:49 PM

    If my comment on accountancy has had anything to do with your low self esteem because of your contact with said profession, then please accept my apology.
    Accountants are not wankers.
    They are not that interesting.
    I hope that helps.

  2. I'm not kidding, before I saw your classification of yourself, that is exactly how I categorised myself. So maybe that is the blogging class - middle class wankers.

  3. Vicus - As somebody who is totally hopeless in social situations, I should fit right in to the accountancy profession. I've only ever wanted to be a professional footballer, though - but nobody would ever pass to me. I don't think accountants are necessarily very interesting, then again I don't think Monty Python was either.

    Tom - Of the 4 middle class categories, that's the best.

  4. I'm more scum than a wanker. Which scum I am I don't know.

  5. And you seemed like such a nice bloke, Billy.

    Just goes to show you never can tell.

  6. are neither. Not scum or a wa**er.

    Never either of those.

  7. I'm sorry to be pedantic here...but 'chav' is actually a term of joy in Romany circles. It isn't a term of abuse. It's like 'mate' or 'wide boy'.

    The word 'pikey' however, is a term of abuse in Romany language.

    I only know this as I married a Romany. He says that the worst possible abuse is a 'hedgemumper'. So, there you go!

  8. I consider myself somewhere between 2 and 5 on your list. Definitely middle class, and sadly a snob, although I'm sure there are plenty worse.

    Jesus, I am contemptible.

  9. Molly - The next non-Romany to use the word 'chav' is a hedgemumper.

    Krusty - It's alright. Professor Plum's bloody stupid categories don't really exist. He does but he's banged up for life for bludgening Miss Scarlet over the head with a candlestick holder.

  10. I'm middle-class scum.

    Raised by teacher-parents with Radio 4 and the Sunday Times and piano lessons.

    If I'd had any ambition, maybe I'd be a middle class snob by now.

    But no.

    (I put a "too expensive" top back on the rail at H&M last week. It was £8.)

  11. Jimmy Young and the Sunday Mirror, me.

    I would have killed for piano lessons.