Sunday, October 29, 2006

Another Boring Post About Asda

The fire alarm went off in Asda on Friday evening. Not that I am one to point fingers, but there were some very suspicious teenagers hanging around before, most probably hiding fireworks under their tops.

It took a good minute of constant alarm noise before we were asked to leave by the car park exit and to leave our shopping in the aisles.

The green-topped staff walked up the escalator to their gathering point and us shoppers were left to wait just outside the exit doors. The fire brigade arrived after about ten minutes.

"Oooh, I've gone all weak," I said to Betty. "What I would give to be carried off by one of them."

We then ticked off all the firemen we have known in our lifetime. None of them could be described as particularly good looking or even that hunky.

Then, all of a sudden, it was over. The green-topped staff jogged down the escalator like a football team coming onto the pitch after half-time. I thought we ought to give them a round of applause, cheer them to their checkouts. A couple of them looked too young to work, probably stock room workers, coughing amongst the soap powders as I used to do all those years ago. Except the Co-op then was like a Sunday pub team.

Asda is Premiership.


  1. One thing I've often wondered is do fireman have ranks like they do in the States? (Actually do they have ranks in the states, or am I dreaming it?)

  2. Yes, they do. Well they did in London's Burning.

    Which premiership team would they be, Geoff? One owned by Americans obviously but shite. Villa then.

  3. Do you think it was a can of tuna, exploding in the store-room that set off the fire alarm? Not at Asda, surely?

    Did anybody step on small babies' faces to get out? My husband always says he would do that in a fire *situation*. Push grandmothers out of the way, that kind of thing.

  4. Billy - Firemen should have generals, colonels and privates. Actually I'm sure I've seen some privates in those firemen calendars.

    Richard - Watch your step, Villa are my second team and Betty's first. Maybe Asda would be the premiership team that's owned by Americans and supported by people who should be supporting something more local.

    Molly - You don't get small babies at that time on a Friday evening at Asda, you get big mardy ones like me. There was no rush whatsoever, we almost had to be pushed out. I was concerned someone might steal the En Vogue and 70s/80s soul CDs I was about to purchase. Luckily the trolley was intact where we left it.

  5. They ARE part of the Walmart Family you know.

    I once asked where the milk was and the lady said "Aisle C".

    I said, "No, where do you keep the milk?".

    "Aisle C".

    "I only asked a simple question! Now where do you keep the milk?!".

    "Aisle C".

    Well you get the drift....

  6. Now it's full of Christmas stuff it should be Yule C.

  7. The Walmart "Family" aren't fooling me. Just because you put the word "family" in there it doesn't mean you're not a sinister corporation intend on enslaving us all.

    I'm glad they don't have Sharon Osbourne in the adverts any more. What with Jamie Oliver "doing" Sainsbury's it seems supermarket television adverts are shit-magnets.

  8. I can't do it Geoff. I ought to I know, but I can't. Is it a colour thing? Are Burnley your third team?

  9. Billy - I think the Sharon Osbourne ads were a big mistake. Nobody believed she had ever set foot in an Asda. What they need are ordinary down to earth families, not the publicity seeking head of an incredibly disfunctional one. I'm eagerly awaiting Wal-Mart selling guns in its British stores so I can shoot the halloween pumpkins.

    Richard - Yes, I do have a soft spot for Burnley. And Stoke City for a long forgotten League Cup match.

  10. My brother is a fireman, and actually he is the good-looking, hunky type. Which I'm not saying just because he's my brother.
    Except for the fact that I was there when he was born, I would wonder if we had different parents. Because I'm chunky and dumpy looking.
    Oh nooooo! There are those old "am I adopted" anxieties again!
    Just joking about the adoption anxieties. But my brother actually is a hunky firefighter, and I actually was there when he was born.
    The firefighter who helped teach my EMT class wasn't particularly hunky. But he was a champion at making hilarious fart sounds!