Thursday, November 30, 2006


It’s someone’s birthday at work today. Someone else is leaving for another job tomorrow. I’ve had to sign two cards. I have two stock phrases for each eventuality.

Have a great birthday
Wishing you a very happy birthday

All the best in your new job
Enjoy your new job

The act of writing any one of these wishes gets me down. I am a glass half-empty kinda guy. But I put on a happy face and get on with it.


Yesterday I saw Leonard Cohen near Trafalgar Square. If it wasn’t Leonard Cohen, I’m a Scientologist and I’m about to buy a property near Tom Cruise’s new one near East Grinstead, the home of Scientology.

Leonard was with a much younger, dark-haired woman.

Leonard wore sunglasses.


  1. I've seen several people in sunglasses who aren't Leonard Cohen. If he'd gone down Northumberland Avenue he would have been down by the river.

  2. I don't really fancy oranges with my tea.

  3. "I don't really fancy oranges with my tea."

    I've always thought that too! They jsut don't *go*, do they?

  4. But if someone had made the effort and bought the tea all the way from China, I'd have some oranges with it, just to please them.

    The most terrifying thing about signing cards at work is where to put my scrawl. There's a very delicate art to it.

  5. At one place where I worked, we weren't allowed to sign cards. People sent round a sheet of sticky labels, and you put your message on one. A responsible person would then transfer the labels to a card, discarding those that were deemed unsuitable.

    It rather removed what limited enjoyment there was in the process to start with.

    WV: "ansarfrg", a French answering machine.

  6. Anonymous11:23 AM

    The redeeming feature of Suzanne is that she always takes them down.

    "Cheer up you miserable old bastard!". You could have written that on the card and also showed it to old misery guts.

  7. That reminds me - when I was out celebrating at posh restaurant last Thurs (see horribly drunken blog post) - I saw Patrick Swayze leave with two Russian hookers - I know they were Russian as I heard them talking on their mobiles in the loo's. He looked well dodgy and a bit face-lifted in a dreadful distressed brown leather blouson jacket. Very funny. We sat there and guffawed far too loudly and I think I may have pointed AND laughed. I am The Rockmother after all.

  8. Spin - Not even Jaffa Cakes.

    Billy - I hate having to be the first to sign. You don't want to look as if it's you who is the most upset the person is leaving or the most happy that it is the person's birthday, maybe that you were the one that gave most to the collection. They might want to be your best friend.

    Tim - They could have typed the messages to make it even more impersonal.

    Murph - At least I've got a perfect body in that song. A bit like Patrick Swayze.

    RoMo - I always thought you were the Rockmother because you were a tower of strength. Now I know it's because you live the hedonistic rock 'n' roll lifestyle.

  9. Geoff - no, not really - just a bit of both.