Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Ballad Of The Boy With A One Track Blog

You turned on the computer
Your eyes and nose full of snot
Your toast strategically placed beside the mouse
Your jam it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself toss off
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you?


My writing several years ago
I remember was still naive
Well, you said that I'd make such pretty prose
With a 21st century Jeeves
But readers come and readers go
They don't give a stuff for me
I had some dreams once that they'd leave a comment
They'd leave a comment, and


You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you?


...............


Well, I hear you were in the Blog Awards
And of course you naturally won
With your blog about having it off non-stop
As if it were really fun
Well, your book's out now and you've got your fame
And your mug is on tv
On some shitty wanky arts show or Richard and Judy,
Richard and Judy, and


You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

27 comments:

  1. Top Man Geoff...that's brilliant!!!
    It scans perfectly to the syllable. I'm nominating it for post of the week because I love a bit irony...

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  2. I'm so vain I really thought this blog was about me.
    It is isn't it?

    Warren Beatty

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  3. Fuck off Warren.

    It's about ME.


    Mick Jagger

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  4. Murph - Thank you kindly. Be grateful you didn't have to hear me sing it like Betty did.

    Warren - One post that was mainly about Russell Brand does not make this whole blog about you. You are so vain.

    Mick - I've probably mentioned Dartford once. You're even more vain than Warren.

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  5. Is that "Like Betty had to hear me sing it", or "Sing it in the same way that Betty sang it"?

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  6. Betty didn't sing it. She played the spoons.

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  7. I'm nominating this for an Ivor Novello, just like Gary Barlow's got.

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  8. But Gary writes his own original tunes.

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  9. Trivial point, Geoff.

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  10. This blog isn't all about me, but there is another one that is.

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  11. It's so vain, this vanity publishing lark, isn't it?

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  12. Speak for yourself geoff. I see myself as a dedicated public servant.

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  13. Ooh, that's brilliant Geoff.

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  14. Dick - I actually see myself as a sensitive singer-songwriter. So sensitive I'm allergic to my piano.

    Spin - You're making me blush.

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  15. Was I the only one singing? I suggest a team effort to provide the original Pan's People dance routine as seen on ToTP. Look it up youngsters. Well done Geoff.

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  16. It is though Dick, *isn't* it??

    Oh, btw - I've moved here....(for tax reasons, obviously...) - if you wish to update your bookmarks...

    L.U.V. on ya,

    Bob

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  17. Arabella - "Ruth: I really enjoyed 'You’re So Vain'. It was one of the first times we did interpretive stuff. It was almost like acting and in a sense it was a breakthrough and I think it worked."

    How could I not remember this breakthrough?

    Bob - I shall update my link to the Bob Swipe Song & Dance Man Show straight away.

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  18. If I was a judge on Post of the Week I'd vote for you, because you're a blogging mate and that's the way it seems to work.













    *Still bitter*

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  19. We could all volunteer to be Post of the Week Judges Wyndham.

    Mind you, I can't walk past a post myself without pissing all over it.

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  20. Hang on... is that song really about heroin?

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  21. It's evidently not about me because I eat lemon curd ....

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  22. Arabella - I didn't quite break into song (don't want to terrorise the neighbours too much) but I was humming along.

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  23. Wyndham - We'll have to start going to some blogmeets. I'll be the one in the corner shouting, "I'm the Donny Tourette of blogging!"

    Murph - I'd like to see you in a judge's wig.

    Del - That would be "Your slow vein."

    Llewtrah - On toast?

    Spin - You can be in my backing band.

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  24. Oy, you lot, less of the conspiracy theories! Post of the Week is a non-heirarchical post-syndicalist collective, dontcha know. We hate cliques, and we welcome volunteers. Trouble is, nobody ever seems to feel like volunteering...

    If Post of the Week ends up featuring the same old blogs, week after week, then it will have totallly failed. But that all depends on how it's used...

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  25. The lack of volunteers could be to do with the lack of spare time bloggers have. We're so busy writing our blogs and commenting on our mates' blogs that there just aren't enough hours in the day. Maybe when we're retired, eh?

    I got about 15 referals from Post Of The Week for this post, all of which stayed for 0 secs and none of which left a comment. Not even one slagging me off for taking the piss!

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  26. That's interesting: 15, eh? Sounds about right, I'm afaid. You've got to be pretty hardcore to go clicking through all the nominations - which is why we do a weekly shortlist, to make the clickage more manageable. The theory being that clickage for shortlisted posts is increased, and clickage for the actual "post of the week" is increased again.

    That "0 secs" thing doesn't mean that they only spent 0 seconds reading your post, you know; it just means that there was only one page view for that visitor, ie. they didn't click through to the rest of the blog. Well, that's how my Site Meter works at any rate...

    (I know, I spend far too long thinking about these things... it's a curse.)

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  27. Ignore Geoff, he's having one of his turns. Still, not as bad as having to watch him shout abuse at West Ham during a live football match on telly though.

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