Saturday, January 19, 2008

Kevin Keegan - Master Of Irony

"When they've worked all week, the match for them, it's a bit like people down south going to the theatre".

Brilliant, King Kev! You've really raised the bar. That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

You can see through all this bollocks about Newcastle United fans being the best in the world, salt of the earth, community minded, proud of their history, more working class and honest and neighbourly and humorous than other fans, deserving of success more than any other team's fans in the whole wide world. Toon Army, my arse. They can't hold a fucking tune.


  1. Does he really have see-through bollocks? I would have thought that might appeal to those with a curious disposition, but I would prefer not to know any more about it.

  2. I once saw him stroll into Habitat on the Kings Road in a shell suit playing pocket billiards if you get my drift - so no - I don't think his balls are see-through. He was really cocky (pardon the pun) - was strutting round and being all 'look at me' and talking really loudly. Someone muttered 'paedophile' under their breath when they walked past. He didn't look too amused.

  3. I've disliked him intensely since I saw a photo of him kissing Thatcher during one of her campaigns.
    Best thing City did when they got rid of him - I can't see Sven being photographed in that pose can you?

  4. I liked it when he fell off his bike in 'Superstars' and when he did "I would love it if we beat them..."

    Can't see this ending well though.

  5. Vicus - After Venables and Hoddle the FA wanted a squeaky clean man, someone who was transparent. Keegan's bollocks fitted the bill.

    Romo - Someone in the public eye shouldn't be seen in public wearing a shell suit. Even Christopher Quentin when I saw him wasn't wearing one. Though he did have a silver bomber jacket.

    Kaz - Yes, another working class hero pissing on his history. Sven's in a different league.

    Beth - Good memories. Newcastle will stay mid-table where they belong.

  6. Have you noticed that Kevin Keegans now got white hair?
    It's all that spunk from the Newcastle fans.

  7. I thought the Messiah was only supposed to come back from the dead once.

    I think we've been here before.

  8. It's quite true, we're off to London on the 2nd and it was a toss up whether we went to watch Man U slaughter Spurs or went to see Blood Brothers.
    So, we're going to the theater, we can't afford tickets to the match. It's true what they say about the North / South divide!

  9. I dare you to start a chant.

    "One Willy Russell! There's only one Willy Russell!"

  10. Anonymous9:20 PM

    I felt sure someone at 5Live, over Keegan Hype Weekend (as they failed to call it) was going to ask Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton what they thought about Kev being back at Newcastle.

    On DAB radio, you could actually hear Lord Reith turning in his grave.

    Shares in Northern Rock were boosted today simply because hedge fund account managers are all Radio Bloke listeners

  11. If I were a Newcastle fan I would be extremely emnbarrassed.

  12. Blimey can't remember when I last went to the theatre. I certainly didn't go every week/fortnight!

  13. Can you order half-time drinks at the St James's Park bar before the game? Just a thought. Mine's a pint of sambucca.

  14. Late after-thought.

    Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act and sent to an institution for retards with no chance of recovery.

    "We're glad to have him back!" said Kevin Keegan.

  15. "I would love it, just love it if we stayed up."

  16. Woody1:52 PM

    Geoff you're a kuntish cunt and full of shit, who likes putting men in underwear on their website. You fucking knobjockey.

  17. *sigh* another southern knob and his oh so witty friends jump on the anti Keegan/Geordie bandwagon set in motion by the London based media.

    A picture of a bloke in his shorts accompanied by loads of bollocks comments - fucking hilarious mate well done.

    Oh and a dig at Paul Gascoigne as well - nice one - slagging off someone who is obviously distressed and needs help is terribly 'now' where you're from isn't it?

    I hope the next time you fuckers run out of water and you come begging it from us you get told to fuck off. Oh...and I hope your knife crime epidemic gets worse you self satisfied, louse infested, overblown, overpriveleged parcel of horse shit.

  18. Anonymous2:11 PM

    To quote JK.
    'Your a cunt' southern backward tramp with rickets and lice.

  19. Geordie Jim10:07 AM

    To quote JK, "you're a fucking southern dress wearing knob jockey who ponces around in theatres and art galleries talking fucking bollocks when you should be at the match on a Saturday afternoon". Try acting like a real man for a change you fucking southerner.

    How dare you talk cuntish bollocks about Kevin Keegan, who is a real man. As the picture above shows, he had beautiful chest definition as a young man. I bet you're a fat louse infested bastard ponce like all fucking southerners. Fuck off back to your art gallery.