Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Questions Questions. Give Me No Answers.

I'm feeling feverish and not really up to producing something of worth.

So what a perfect opportunity to update you on my wonderful world of search engine searches. Just what have my potential readers been typing into Google or MSN or Yahoo or Dog Breath in the last month or so?

I've sorted them into categories and will post them over the next few days as to post all of them at once would be spoiling you. Of course they're much more entertaining than the usual guff you get on here so don't expect to continue laughing at my posts when they're over.

The categories are...

Celebrity searches (various)
Searches for Geoffs
Celebrity searches of a sexual nature
Searches by downright weirdos
Searches by dirty perverted perverts

And we'll start the series off with Celebrity searches (various)

1. Family Tree of Sir Alf Ramsey
2. Solar Van Clarkson Jeremy
3. Ronnie Barker Cinderella & her ugly sisters
4. Midge Ure Hotel Room
5. "Axl Rose" "plastic surgery"
6. Douglas the Lurpak man
7. James Blunt "Piss Take"
8. Sean Bean Lives Hampstead
9. David Attenborough's Voice
10. Noel Edmonds Evil
11. Max Wall Funny Walk
12. Anita Harris and Jimmy Clitheroe pantomime
13. Richard Fleeshman turns goth
14. Teddy Sheringham - is he married?
15. Laughing Policeman David Bowie
16. Fiona Richmond what does she look like now?

I don't really want to know the answer to no. 16 as Ms Richmond sadly died a couple of years ago.

I think the parochial nature of my blogs is really apparent as the only search for a non-British celebrity is the Axl Rose one. And I do seem a bit stuck in the past, don't I?

So that's the first in a series of five and I bet you're all looking forward to the next one. In the meantime, why not tell me how you first came across this blog. Which category do you fit into?
Are you a weirdo, a pervert, or a Geoff lover?

Or maybe all three?


  1. How I First Came Upon Geoff’s Blog.

    *gets misty eyed just thinking about it*

    My search term was sommat like “Coronation Street dreams.” I was looking for people who had dreamed about Corrie. (Do I fit into the weirdo, pervert, or Geoff lover category?)

    The number one search result for that phrase today reveals that Heather Mills McCartney covets a role on the Cobbles.

    Previously, back in that magical time, the search led me to ‘Geoff’s Dream Blog’ where Geoff dreamed that Ken Barlow jumped out of a toolbox. That alone was enough to convince me that I should become a 'Geoff's Dream Blog' reader for life.

    Reading Geoff’s blog opened my eyes onto a whole new wonderful world of Brit blogs including Betty, Wyndham, Vicus, and more. I’ve not been the same since.

  2. Geoff, apparently Fiona Richmond still lives in Hampshire, and owns a hotel in the Carribean, so maybe she doesn't look quite as haggard as you think. Although if she lives anywhere near Vicus, anything's possible. I wonder if she's still married to James Montgomery, wot used to present the showbiz news on "Scene South-East" back in the days.

  3. MJ - I'd always thought I'd found you first, via Mr Lupin. I should've known better - you are the info queen after all.

    Richard - Me and Betty are both certain we heard news of her death. Can't find confirmation anywhere, although one site does say she's still married to James Montgomery (not that I remember him as we had the London News). Are there any other 70s soft porn stars who've died recently?

  4. I'll always remember her marrying JM, It was such an incongruous match. I think he actually became her agent or something. The only high profile one I can think of is Linda Lovelace who was killed in a car accident about 4 years ago. However it's not my particular area of expertise, you understand.

  5. first was geoff's dreams (now sadly too porny for viewing at work) which i think i got to via toasty's futon. or something. or was it the other way round? now i spend my time enviously reading you and betty and wishing i had something clever to say myself.

    how i hate you.

  6. It wasn't Linda Lovelace, Richard. Wasn't she American? And Mary Millington died years ago...

    I'm envious of both you and Betty, SG.

    But I really don't see how my dreams can be porny. I've never had one of those dreams in my life. Not even one involving Fiona Richmond.

  7. I haven't a clue how I came by Geoff. One day he wasn't there and the next day he was.

  8. I think I'd better refrain from further comment otherwise people will get the wrong idea about my pastimes.

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