The Spiders Eat Mars

I'm confused.

Looking over someone's shoulder this morning at what I thought was The Daily Xenophobe, I saw the headline, "Piggy Stardust", basically an article taking the piss out of David Bowie's new-found weight.

Now I look on The Xenophobe's website and I see that "with a hint of a double chin and a wide smile, he looked much healthier than in his hollow-cheeked days."

Being a fan of the old Bowie, I much prefer the former approach.

So does anybody remember these lines from some of David's old songs?

The return of the fat white duke

Ground control to Major Tom...Take your slimming pills and put your corset on

We can eat them, just for one day. We can eat Cheerios, just for one day

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky...We know Major Tom's a chunky

Let's not dance...I'd rather sit this one out and tuck into the buffet


My sides are splitting. Literally! I'm on the Bowie Diet!