Monday, December 15, 2008

Puke Factor

I've just been in Tesco's where some caterwauling cunt is giving it all that. They don't have music in there at any other time of year so why do we have to suffer in December?

And talking of cc's, it seems the Christmas number one is going to be a cover version of a cover version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, sung by the X-Factor winner whose name I don't want to know.

Some twat contacted GMTV this morning to say that their dad was in tears when the cc found out she'd won.

That's not a dad! That's an under-educated, over-emotional, pre-menstrual woman! Get a fucking sex change, man! Straighten your hair and dye it blonde!

There's been an internet campaign to get people to download Jeff Buckley's version of the song to get it in the charts so that people can compare and contrast. More stupidity! The thick masses are not going to like Jeff Buckley. They'd listen to the whole of the Grace album and not shed a tear. We are not dealing with sensitive people with artistic sensibilities. We are dealing with shallow, fake emotions. They watch X-Factor for fuck's sake and feel for the contestants. They can listen to what Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh have to say without wanting to throw a brick at the telly as soon as they open their twatty gobs.

The next time somebody asks me whether I'm watching one of these "family" shows I'm going to kill myself in front of them, to show them the extent of my loathing for this world.

That'll show 'em.


  1. I get the feeling this might not be the right time to raise the subject of Terry Wogan and Aled Jones.

  2. So, Geoff, are you ready for Christmas?

  3. I'm feeling the goodwill toward men here.

  4. I'm loving this - you're even more pissed off with Christmas than I am!

  5. Have you ever watched the film 'Network'? If not, I think you'd like it!

    I loathe dumbing down too and am beginning to suspect that most telly is now being made for the drunk and stoned BY the drunk and stoned.

  6. That's an under-educated, over-emotional, pre-menstrual woman! Get a fucking sex change, man! Straighten your hair and dye it blonde!


    Are you my ex-boyfriend?

  7. I've had a bad day too Geoff.

  8. Chris - An insult to the Bing/Bowie classic.

    Vicus - I'm just warming up. I feel all gooey inside.

    MJ - It's been building up inside me.

    Rol - If I hear Mariah Carey one more time...!

    Laura - Yes, I am mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore! I think I'd need a good shot of heroin to watch X Factor.

    Scarlet - I doubt it. This is very out of character for me.

    Kaz - Mine was yesterday. And it's all come out today.

  9. The John Cale version is better still.

    1. Cale
    2. Jeff
    3. kd
    4. Laughing Len
    5. Rufus
    6-99. Others
    100. Jon Bon Jovi.

  10. Never mind Geoff, it'll soon be over.

  11. Lenny Cohen's lightened up a bit Geoff. You'll just have to wait another 30 years like him.

    Surely you get spontaneous outpourings of deep emotion at West Ham home games?

  12. Tim - I'd probably agree with you if I wasn't so sick of the bloody thing however good the performance.

    Beth - Yeah, and then I'll be back at work!

    Murph - I cry over West Ham matches once every 25 years when they win something.

  13. OK - I didn't really mean it anyway. It won't soon be over. It's not even anywhere near frenzy yet. And hardly anyone's had a Christmas Do.

    (wv is greed!)

  14. And Leona Lewis is still number one.

    Can't wait for Christmas TOTP.

  15. Hats off to you Geoff, it's not always easy to remain so cheery around this time of year, especially when that soddin music is being piped out of every available fucking speaker.

  16. Louis Walsh is the ghost of Christmas past-it.

  17. Tom - Christ, if you can't enjoy Christmas, what's the bleedin' point?

    Istvanski - He should have died in the nineties along with Oasis and Blur.