Bad Bowie

I love Bowie. I love his Alvin Stardust phase, his Great White Shark phase, even his Laughing Policeman phase. In fact, I love every phase he went through before Let's Dance (his biggest selling album, and the beginning of cack-Bowie).

But at the weekend, Bowie had me seething.

Transferring CDs to Windows Media Player is usually a piece of piss. Apart from Windows occasionally not agreeing with the CD track listing, that is. But Bowie's CDs are a different kettle of fish.

Because every CD you try to rip comes with a BowieNet program which, if you don't go into it and see all that David has to offer, freezes your computer.

So a program that David developed in his Swiss hideaway laboratory in 1991 makes what should be a simple operation a pain in the arse.

Why, David? Why do you have to have your multimedia empire and sell us outdated software? You don't get other has-been rockers like Macca or Jagger or Dave Grohl at the forefront of yesterday's technology.

The Bowie net I'd like to have seen would have been a nice strong one that covered him in 1981 and only let him out for interviews and copulation. He might have grown fat but at least he'd have all his own teeth.