Friday, December 07, 2007

Showbears News

1. Elvis, The Bear Formerly Known As Mohammed, is to co-star in the new Ray Winstone vehicle, The Play School Massacre. Elvis will play Little Ted, the vicious sidekick to Winstone's East End gangster godfather, Brian "Fackin" Cant. Elvis says of the role, "It is a departure for me, a new beginning. Impersonating the Prophet was fun at the time, but looking back I think my actions were immature in the extreme. I'm just loooking forward to playing alongside some of the greatest English actors of our generation. It is a dream come true to work with Ray."

2. Knut the polar bear, who celebrated his first birthday this week at Berlin Zoo, has announced that he is in the running to appear as Iorek Byrnison in the follow up to The Golden Compass, the film based on the first of Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials novels. Knut says of his ambitions, "I think I can do it. I come from a showbusiness family, so you could say it's in the blood. I'm very gentle around humans but can play rough when required. I know I've got to lose some weight but the good people at Berlin have recently put me on a diet and I should be in my optimum condition in a matter of a few months. I really see Hollywood as a possibility. There have been rumours that I will be relocating to London Zoo in the near future, but I would refute these most strongly. I've had a taste of stardom and I've liked what I've experienced, but now I'd like a bit of a challenge to go with it. I am 100% certain my future lies on screen"

11 comments:

  1. Those bears will go far. Quite apart from cuteness, I'm sure they will demonstrate the extensive repertoire of accents and dialects any half-decent actor develops through rigorous training and experience, in addition to the ability to go red in the face on cue. Unlike Mr Winstone.

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  2. Are you saying Ray is typecast? The man has an extraordinary range...

    ...rover.

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  3. I'm worried Knut will get a bit tooo theatrical and his bi-polar side will emerge.

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  4. You're going to hell, Geoff. Or the British comedy awards, whichever is worse.

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  5. Murph - I hope he can tell the difference between boys and girls after his solitary confinement.

    Tim - I'm up for a lunchtime achievement award next year.

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  6. I presume Knut is the polar bear who used to be in the advert for Twetieth Century Fox's Glacier mints.

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  7. It was his great great great grandfather who had the fresh breath and the bad teeth.

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  8. I was desperately hoping there would be this:

    "..........."

    somewhere in Knut's interview, just so we could enjoy airing out the old "So why the big pause?" joke.

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  9. Ha! Next year the pause will be even bigger.

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  10. I thought the Mohaamed bear was to change his name to a symbol, that way he couldn't offend anyone (unlike Prince who can offend people whether he has a symbol or a name).

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  11. The bear's actually taller than Prince.

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