The current singles chart is full of Christmas songs old and, er, old. Mariah Carey's warbler All I Want For Christmas Is You is the ladies' choice to download. The Pogues are chasing Mariah's ample behind, pissed as newts. Roy Wood is dangling his luxurious split-ended hair over her barely covered tits. Band Aid are sticking plasters on her scuffed heels. Slade are taking it in manly turns to lift her off the dance floor. A be-jumpered Shakin' Stevens is tinkling sleigh bells with Andy Williams in the background.
But enough of my fantasy!
It gets me thinking. I need some more Christmas songs in my collection.
I mean, I love Phil Spector's album. By all rights it should be shooting up the charts. But I need more. If only I had the all time classic Christmas album in my collection.
I used to. White vinyl, just like snow. December 1981. A great time to be young, dumb and full of Christmas spirit.
What a great album! Cristina, Suicide, Was (Not Was), Material, James White. August Darnell (Kid Creole before he was shit). You'll all know The Waitresses' Christmas Wrapping, of course.
And then in the late eighties, I moved. I gave away my records as they weren't the future. But every Christmas from then on I've wanted my Ze album back.
So I look on Amazon, and there it is. Re-released on CD in 2004. Why didn't I see it before?
So this is my Christmas present to myself. It won't arrive 'til after the big day. But I'll play it in my head this year.
Things fall apart but they never leave my heart Good Morning Midnight: it's Christmas...