Monday, March 24, 2008

Careful With That Axe, Eugene

Did you hear about the gig where Charley Pride supported The Fall?

No? Bloody sod you, then.


Whenever I turn the telly on in the evenings nowadays, I always seem to get this image... if it's there in the box, breathing through the air vents, lying in wait for me.

It disturbs me in a way I can't describe. Something to do with mortality and stifling dreams. A complete lack of joy. Such a long, pointless existence which even death cannot relieve. A look in the mirror that says "kill me now and kill me painfully so that at least I can feel something for once in my life."


  1. Seeing that face is enough to send me over to Cilla on Corrie for my chips.

  2. The Pride-Fall gig went down very badly in Norwich. No turn went unstoned.

  3. MJ - Cilla left for Vegas last year. We don't see the chippy anymore, just the boring kebab shop.

    Murph - I'm sure Mark Smith would rather be called a turn than an act.

  4. Yeah! - I geddit.

    Poor old Ian - Is he still around?
    At least Ken Barlow is officially boring.

    You are very ponderous this Easter Geoff!

  5. Did Eileen ever date the fat father at the kebab shop?

    I'll miss Cilla.

    Aren't Ian and Dot the only two originals left on the show?

  6. Kaz - I think my ponderousness is due to the sheer amount of trip hop I've been listening to. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

    MJ - The fat father is known as Sinbad to us ex-Brookside watchers. They kind of went out a few times but his annoying family got in the way. I don't think they had sex and I certainly don't want to think of Sinbad doing anything of a sexual nature. It's so depressing to think that Ian's been on EastEnders from the beginning. If I watched the show I think I'd need a pick-me-up every night. Ian Beale is responsible for 20% of all depressive illness in the UK. Dot's pretty depressing, too. She should have died of euthanasia in her 50s.

  7. It's a little known fact that a 'Woodyatt' is the correct medical term for an unwanted, embarrassing erection.

  8. I met Mr Woodyatt about 20 years ago and have to say he was not only charming but full of joie de vivre.
    Whether he's still as bouncy after another 20 years in the deep well of misery that is Eastenders, I rather doubt.

  9. Tim - Poor Adam's had to grow into the part over the years. Talk about restricting, though!

    Willie - 20 minutes watching Eastenders knocks the stuffing out of me. He deserves a medal of some sort.

  10. He looks like a Rick Springfield clone!