Friday, March 28, 2008

Lip Up Fatty

I'm feeling a bit sensitive about my belly. It's grown over the last few months and I've received three comments about it recently. The last one was "You've got a real belly now, haven't you Geoff?"

"I've always had a belly."

"Not a noticeable one. It's a real belly now."

My spirits are not helped as I watch the disappearing back of an ex-friend as he runs past me. We used to play tennis together. Now he runs marathons like a fucking gazelle and here I am plodding along with my increasing waistband.

I think it's down to the handful of nuts I have with my breakfast. I'm cutting out the nuts. I'm sure that'll do the trick.


Highlights of the excellent Tony Hancock/Joan Le Mesurier docu drama included the three uses of the "c" word. Especially Tony's drunken "Kent! What am I fucking doing in Kent? Kent! You are a cunt!"

I can relate to that. Kent is one hell of a cunt, as is Ken Stott's and my middle aged spread. But I've got a few years on him and should be able to lose it.

I never got Hancock's humour, but I got his misery. But wasn't the humour in the misery? Yes, but it wasn't funny. You had to be there, I suppose.


The electricity meter reader today had some words of wisdom.

"My kids are very political. I tell them politics doesn't make any difference. It's scientists who make the world we live in. They're the ones who change things."

He'll eventually be out of work due to advancing technology and the widespread use of smart meters.

Technology. It's going to free us all.


  1. Take comfort in the fact that for every marathon run, one runner drops dead.

  2. Anonymous4:53 PM

    There was tumbleweed blowing through the classroom when I showed episodes of Hancock to my students. I don't mind that, because I never found him funny myself (nor Steptoe, nor Rigsby, nor Garnett). But if they complain when I show Seinfeld, I just keep showing more of it until they shut up.

    The Likely Lads was fairly popular, and they love Fawlty, and they all think Friends is, like, the most popylar sitcom ever with everyone.

  3. I didn't know nuts were fattening. Are you're eating donuts for breakfast?

  4. People used to be much fitter. When I was a kid a bloke down our street did 100 meters in world record time.

    He got 3 years inside.

  5. These tripartite posts are a bit confusing for me Geoff.
    I'm still thinking about your belly when I get to the technology punch line.

    I found the Hancock docu drama very depressing - I just wanted John Le Mesurier to give him a kick in the nuts (note attempt to make link).

  6. MJ - And it's not the ones in animal costumes that tend to drop dead. It's the serious health freaks.

    Bob - There's only really Clement & La Frenais and Perry & Croft who I like from 60s and 70s British sitcoms. Galton & Simpson being interviewed by Mark Lawson stressed just how much work went into their most famous line, "A pint? That's very nearly an armful." They needn't have bothered as far as I'm concerned. Seinfeld will never date.

    Istvanski - You hit 46 and your metabolism goes haywire. Your nuts get fattier.

    Murph - So the coppers were fitter too, to keep up? I don't believe that.

    Kaz - This style of blogging is like a starter, a main course and a pudding. I don't know whether John fell into the arms of Hattie Jacques before or after this affair. Nurse, the screens!

  7. I am sure it is not as bad as you think Geoff - it is just that people probably don't realise that you are a bit sensitive about it. I have to say I have noticed that it's all slowing down a bit - I have been recently contemplating stretching a Slendertone belt across by bottom while blogging - in a bid to tone up my ever-expanding 'blogger's arse'. What with addiction to the internet - I am sure 'blogger's arse' will soon be recognised as a serious physical condition...of course only in the Daily Mail - nowhere else.

  8. A Slendertone belt sounds ideal for my belly.

    I was the first blogger to get blogger's nipple.

  9. I've got blogger's bogies. The heat from my PC dries my snot.

  10. Your fanbelt's gone.

  11. Stipe me! Bloomin' marvelous! For the price of a packet of fags... Galton and Simpson were gods gift to comedic writing. What they di dwith Hancock was to reflect his real life personality. The tragedy with Hancock was that he was never funny. His writers just took the piss out of him as a person and put it into the scripts and made each scenario fir whatever was going on in that weeks show etc. When he eventually fired them because he belived that he really was the funny one and not them, he famously fell flat on his arse. He deserved everything that came to him though adn his ultimate end was quite fitting for such a sad and lonly person. I am a fan of the material but not of the man. I watched the TV programe and wished I hadn't, same as I read her book and felt the same. I'm a mug me.

  12. The blank page of his comic masterpiece told volumes.