Sunday, March 02, 2008

In The Days Of The Miners' Strike

In the days of the miners' strike, one day stood out. It was the day that Gary Yates went down in legend.

Gary was a big, confident lad and thought he could do everything himself. He had a loud mouth and boasted to his mates that he could see off a coach of scabs by himself.

So his mates let him have a go.

The night before his shift, Gary couldn't get to sleep. He was worried he would let his comrades down. By the time he got to his solo shift he was exhausted. He sat propped against the picket fence, couldn't keep his eyes open for a minute, said "oh, fuck it" and fell into a deep sleep. The scabs had a peaceful journey to work.

The incident is known in folklore as Gary "Fuck It" And The Union Nap.


In the days of the miners' strike, one day stood out. It was the day that Gary Bates went down in legend.

The lads were huddled around the brazier, taking the piss out of each other when Big Dave piped up that he was feeling hungry.

Gary Bates owed Big Dave a favour. Big Dave had stepped in to stop Gary from getting a beating a few nights previously.

"I'll get you something," said Gary to Big Dave.

So Gary went off to the bakers with instructions to get Dave "a nice cheese and tomato toastie."

Half an hour later, Gary handed Dave his food. Dave opened the wrapper.

"What the fuck's this?" he said.

The incident is known in folklore as Gary "Fuckwit" And The Union Bap.


  1. The horrid "Lady Willpower" is now stuck in my head for the rest of the day on a loop.

  2. Did no one ever tell you the facts of life?
    Well there's so much you have to learn.
    And I would gladly teach you if I could only reach you
    And get your lovin' in return.

    Better run, girl
    You're much too young, girl

  3. A good job Gary Gates didn't dress as Kermit the Frog and do a big poo at the regional conference, isn't it?

    And as for Gary Mates demanding a blowjob off that lass from Tokyo when he should have been collecting for the strike fund...

  4. What about Gary Plates, whose feet were so big he kept tripping up as he crossed the picket line?

  5. Tim - That's the spirit! I had something similar to your second one but I was too chicken to post it.

    Istvanski - You can't have too big feet down the mine.